Day 13: Through the Castle, into the Hole.

A "muscle" strategy through the castle helped me a lot. The duration increase to Blood of the Wereseal and the introduction of medicinal herbs has really helped muscle classes to muscle their way through the harder area's.

With the big bonus of +50% muscle today for temporary lycanthrope, I headbutted my way through the Castle. I did need a Kentucky-fried meat sword, though. I also switched the penguin buckler back for the infernal insoles, to get that much-needed jump edge on the giants. With the cheap medicinal herbs and the 7-fold reduction in mana consumption, it's actually profitable to fight there. I could afford to buy Tao of the Terrapin and even reduce damage taken further. Not to mention that Snappering is way more unpredictable and quirky in damage dealt than headbutts.

With my final two bottles of booze I mixed up a martini and a whiskey sour and filled up the rest with IPA. The "special" was ice-cold beer, which is soooo sucky. For food, I simply ate the 5 pre-cooked sausage pizza's. I still found time however to backfarm for the box and visited the haunted pantry (can lid) and back alley (spider web) for the heck of it. I giggled when I got the Dolphin's map, which quest I quickly solved, for fun.

When I completed the Giant Castle quest, I had about 30 adventures left. It took me a while to refine the right strategy for the HitS. But after some experimentation, I've resorted to Snappering. Wolf Mask, yak-skin pants, Kentucky-fried crossbow, pirate shirt and 3 penguin bucklers should all make sure I can avoid/absorb the bulk of damage dealt, while, by picking up Cosmic Ugnderstanding, I can cast the required 3 or 4 spectral snappers, usually aided at least by one kick from my Crimbo Elfling.

The cost of this strategy is, however, massive. I quickly ran out of meat and spleen hits for the medicinal herbs. The latter making it even more expensive, because I've got to heal now with Doc Galactik potions. I've started to alternate the Peak (in Ninja Gear) and the Hole. I've also tried visiting the Fantasy Airship with the Star Starfish, for cheap MP regain, but I'm not quite sure which one is the best approach. The Peak won't work with Starfish, because the required Ninja Outfit holds a weapon.

I got beat up by (both) encounters with Astronomers, but I had a feeling I was quite close in either situations. In the first I simply wasn't at max HP, in the second my Snapper did minimal damage. Hopefully I can actually deal with the Astronomers and maybe the bonus stats will make a difference. I can also opt for the "Flower Power" approach, maybe. The way the battles are going mean it's going to be tough facing the Topiary Golems as well.

Keypunch (#30036)
Level 10
Rattlesnake Chief
Turns Played (this run): 1,390
Days Played (this run): 13

Boom! Backfarming!

My chef exploded while cooking some stuff post-adventuring :-)

Luckily, I already have most replacement parts. Except for a box.Seems like the appropiate time for some backfarming. I need a razor-sharp can lid, spider web and acoustic guitarrr still too, anyway.

Or waste time on getting the "Gourdcore" Trophy. Which is best left to a Disco Bandit or Accordion Thief, though. Spider webs drop the easiest (sometimes two of them drop in one encounter), and those classes can get either Mad Looting Skillz or Leon's Phat Loot Lyric.

On another note: I'm 2 days ahead of the pace of my previous Hardcore run. And that includes a full day of eating/boozing missed out on. Is it simply the increased stat gainage from ESD's at the brewerey and an Empathized & Smile-Sharpening Stoned Cheshire Bat? Or am I playing the game more refined, such as recognizing the power of spicy burritos? With my upcoming RL trip, which will probably mean a reduction in computer access, I shall probably not break my previous ascension time, though.

On yet another note: Tomorrow I prolly have the last day of adventuring before the trip. Blood of the Wereseal seems an attractive option, with the +50% bonus. Combined with the infernal insoles, that might open up the way for headbutting the giants to death. (How do you headbutt a giant, anyway? In the shins?)

Day 12: Up the Stalk

Linearity has set in. It's all straightforward from here to the Sorceress.

I added the Gnefarious Pickpocketing Skill to my repertoire and finished up the Valley of Rofl'mao. My elite deeds did not go unrewarded, but it took a long time to gather all relevant scrolls. I have a nice collection of flaming talons, flaming talons and that sort of stuff.

Running up the Beanstalk, I made nice progress in the castle, even though a few of the MagiMechTech MegaMechs beat me up. SGEEA in combination with Scrolls of Drastic Healing or Medicinal Herbs make it a small loss, however. In the last few adventures, I got the Castle Map and S.O.C.K. and immediately got beat up in the Giant Castle. Maybe I need more HP? Anyway, I'll be spending quite some adventures here, before I can take on the HitS. Blegh. I've bought the "Ghostly Shell" skill, in the hope that it will make that small bit of difference towards not getting beat up and rather merely getting the complete shit kicked out of me.

On the booze front, some goat-supplied whiskey mixed well with Dyspepsi-Cola to supplement the steady diet of IPA. On the food front, I wanted pizza. However, I lacked tomatoes. Plundering the Hippy Camp, I got the Hippy Outfit just in time to buy tomatoes. Sadly, I won't have any use for all the fruit, as my supplies of good booze consist of 1 bottle of gin and 1 bottle of whiskey. Two shakes and then it's back to whatever the brewery offers. Pizza won't last long either, just until the goat cheeses and knob sausages are consumed. From then on, it's back to (spicy)(enchanted) bean burrito.
I also have two Cocoa Eggs, which I could turn into Lucky Surprise Eggs on the next clover day.

Fun facts:
Spicy Enchanted Bean Burrito has reached 7th place in my favourite food list (26 consumed)
Infinitesimal IPA has reached reached 3rd place in my favourite booze list (63 consumed)

Keypunch (#30036)
Level 10
Rattlesnake Chief
Turns Played (this run): 1,264
Days Played (this run): 12

Day 11: It's ridiculous!

A fun day of adventuring. Again, I failed to win from "The Opposition", but I'm crawling closer :-)

Basically, I ended up tying up various loose ends and quite effectively so. I got through the goats and got a Hot and Cold Running Outfit from the Ninja's. I managed to finish the Pirate Outfit and get both an abridged dictionary, as well as a Pirate Shirt. The Cyrpt got undefiled. I accidentally fought the last fight there in my bugbear beanie and bungguard, but the lihc eye pie and flower petal pie, for which I had put that outfit on, were enough to see me through that one.

The most fun part of the day was the variety in cooking, cocktailcrafting and...smithing. Besides petal pies, I made some bean burritos. Pirate Rum with stored spices and Cyrpt Ghuol Eggs netted me eggnogg, while I could fill in the rest with bloody beer from the brewery. Smithingwise, it really got interesting. A chrome helmet turtle was just the beginning. A penguin skin buckler replaced my infernal insoles, which meant +5 moxie at the loss of 10% iniative (and heat resistance). But replacing my sticky meat pants with penguin shorts means I regained 20% iniative, at the loss of 3 moxie.

Net result: +2 moxie, +10% iniatitive, +75 outfit power, +20 damage absorption, loss of heat resistance.
Seems like a fair tradeoff and is only possible because of Armorcraftiness. That skill is going to be a keeper, for sure.

Statwise, I somehow managed to reach level 10. Must've been all the good eating and drinking, and focusing on muscle, instead of secondaries. I prolly need some chore wheel work to correct that.

And, oh yeah, also garnered myself a dead guy's watch. For that vital extra turn :-)

Keypunch (#30036)
Level 10
Rattlesnake Chief
Turns Played (this run): 1,134
Days Played (this run): 11

Day 10: Revenge?

Pffft. I was so tired from w**k while playing today, I rather screwed it all up. With yesterday being locked out from playing, due to DSL, it's not going to be a record run...at all.

Good:
Especially Salty Dogs at the Brewery
Finding an Elite Shirt (after getting Torso Awaregness)
Having a Chrome Helmet turtle
Strange Leaflet Adventure

Bad:
Taking too many adventures at the mine
Getting beat up so often
Too tired to properly buy restorers, but rest instead
Accidentally buying 58 cans of hairspray, instead of 5, because of a finger slip.

Keypunch (#30036)
Level 9
Bullfrog Overseer
Turns Played (this run): 1,005
Days Played (this run): 10

Day 9: Dead Phone

Fucking Telecom Provider. A perfectly good muscle day wasted, because they failed to provide their service.

Blegh. Suck.

Day 8: Kicking Goblin Ass

The day begun with a message from "The Opposition". They had backstabbed me! At least I was more pure than them. And I'm more than happy to let them have that silly flower.

I didn't forget to buff Empathy, nor to adventure at the Knob Treasury to get Observatiogn. Except that I, first, fought with my Crimbo Elf at the Arena and finished the tenth fight, with my Cheshire Bat, so that he now goes through life armed to the teeth with his smile-sharpening stone.

After that I cooked burritos. My chef started making sounds, but I've nearly got an entire replacement chef.

I decided to get drunk the expensive way, on the 195 meat screwdrivers. It's nearly double the price of IPA, but it's a small, yet pleasant, boost to my muscle.

I have 113 adventures in the bank for Muscle Day, tomorrow.

Keypunch (#30036)
Level 7
Iguana Driver
Turns Played (this run): 725
Days Played (this run): 8

Day 7: Spicalicious!

For a day of "just farming", I spent a helluvalot of adventures :-)

I'm in the possession of 20 spices for the coming days, but I also adventured at the Knob Goblin Treasury and finished the Fat Friar's adventure.

My plan for tomorrow:
- Don't forget to buff Empathy
- Adventure enough at the Treasury to get Gnomish Observatiogn
- Gather enchanted beans to cook burritos.
- Get drunk
- Bank all remaining adventures

Keypunch (#30036)
Level 7
Iguana Driver
Turns Played (this run): 691
Days Played (this run): 7

Day 7: Wishlist

Let's hope it's a clover day! I'm thinking of restricting myself to farming, cooking and boozing. Although I might try to make some headway with the Friars and the Cyrpt.

Desired Skills:
- Torso Awaregness (5000)
- Skin of the Leatherback (2000)
- Powers of Observatiogn (5000)
- Spectral Snapper (10000)*
- Ghostly Shell & Tao of the Terrapin (4000 + 7000)
- Armorcraftiness (5000)
- Gnomish Hardigness (5000)

*not available yet

A staggering 43,000 worth of skills! I'll be adventuring for a while, I reckon :-)

Day 6: Bean there. Done that.

I ate four spicy enchanted bean burritos and even an insanely spicy enchanted bean burrito. Which promptly delivered me Indigestion. Woohoo! Booze-wise, it was another IPA-fest.

Otherwise, it's been general mucking about, but quite progressively. I did level up again today, and completed all the goals of yesterday. I changed plans again and did adventure for the beanie, instead of the all-purpose flower. I did adventure at the Treasury for meat, so I could afford Amphibian Sympathy. Sadly, not even a sign of the Infinite Meat Bug, I do sometimes wonder if there's some trick to that.

The Daily Dungeon gave the key I needed, so they are all accounted for, as are Pixel Potions and the Digital Key. I also have a skeleton key and bone rattle, already, even though I just unlocked the Cyrpt today. It required two attempts at the life of the King, but he's gone as well.

The Deep Fat Friars are still a bit out of luck, because I didn't even get one of the 3 items. The "tough" monster from each area is still too strong for me, although I easily wipe the floor with the various Imps. Pirates are also too strong.

Every time I got beat up, I shored for muscle. That did net me the anticheese, which ensured me having a cottage at my campsite.

I may not have powerplayed the most efficiently, but I had tonnes of fun spending my adventures as I did and enough to show for it. I'm currently thinking what goals to set next, especially skills-wise, because I still don't have a lot of those, while quest-wise the path has a certain logical linearity to it.

Keypunch (#30036)
Level 7
Iguana Driver
Turns Played (this run): 601
Days Played (this run): 6

Day 6: Preponderous Movements

Here's a reminder list for things to do tomorrow:

- Farm for bugbear beanie at the Knoll
- Gather enchanted beans & wad of dough
- Hunt Pixels.
- Attempt to lay the smackdown on the Goblin King (Wereseal Blood + Sneaky Pete)
- Get a good start on the Deep Fat Friar's quest.

[edit]
I just realized. For 2000 meat, I could buy "all-purpose flower" from the Gift Shop. Not a bad deal for not having to adventure for dough or a beanie. I'll think I'll go for that approach.

Day 4 & 5: Wad of Slow

On day 4, I didn't have any time at all to play my turns. I didn't even have time to log on and drink/eat, so it's just a lost day (except for the rollover adventures).

Day 5 was the day before Mysticality day. I saved up most of my adventures and only farmed for food and drink for that day and also gathered a lot of spices (clover day). I also visited the Daily Dungeon, but all it yielded was a Sneaky Pete's Breath spray. I've heard rumours of a new item from the Dungeon of Doom that can "zap" Daily Dungeon items into eachother, that'd be neat, but I'll still run the Dungeon, 'till I hear details.

I didn't have a bugbear outfit, so I tried to get some extra wads of dough by adventuring. All I met was Giant Tweezers, Chowder Golems and Brainsweepers, the Knob Goblin chefs dropped *nothing* and when I thought I'd go for the Bugbear Beanie, I only got a Bugbear once, and he dropped nothing (some Warchefs dropped the dough, though). I consider myself a bit unlucky, even if I got the gear to reassemble my Gnollish Autoplunger. Another thing to adventure for tomorrow.

Keypunch (#30036)
Level 6
Frog Boss
Turns Played (this run): 426
Days Played (this run): 5

Day 3: Eggnog Day

Hurray, eggnog at the Microbrewery! That really helped in the Stat Department. I was able to take down the Boss Bat with two headbutts and could adventure for Enchanted Beans to boot, which got made into a bunch of burrito's. Also got the stuff for the meat maid. Some time was spent on the beach, with Knob Goblin Elite Guard money, while adventuring in the Harem got me the Harem Girl outfit and a perfume.

The Daily Dungeon was quite forgiving, although Apathy and being beaten up by a spooky skull were minor setbacks, I did manage to crack it: Jarlsberg Key.

I hope my good fortunes will last tomorrow, while I continue shoring for anti-cheese. Today I shored for moxie once, and immediately got the barbed wire fence. One more trip 'till I get my first Frequent Traveler reward.

Tomorrow I can fill the gap 'till I level up enough to defeat the Goblin King, or take on anything at the Island, by hunting for pixels. Shouldn't forget the Daily Dungeon, either.

Keypunch (#30036)
Level 5
Newt Herder
Turns Played (this run): 325
Days Played (this run): 3

Day 2: Dropping Rates

It took a while for the stuff I wanted to drop. It did level up my Crimbo Elf, however. It's 7 pounds strong and I'm level 5. Two days of moxie moon alignment have done me good. A bartender-in-a-box is settled on my campground and the Nemesis was defeated. No maid though, oughta goa and fix her up tomorrow and still no decent housing, either. I bought a Newbiesport(tm) tent, just for looks. I'm simply playing it slow here, as a true Turtle Tamer and haven't bothered with the Boss Bat or Goblin King yet.

People have been PvP-ing me, but some idiot lost and boosted my PvP rating, instead of lowering it. I won't need the flowers till 'later, so I'm sure some will beat me down again.

Keypunch (#30036)
Level 5
Newt Herder
Turns Played (this run): 202
Days Played (this run): 2

Frozen Gravy Fairy

Looking at my Familiars, I noticed that the names Queen (Flaming GV) and Johnny Rotten (Stinky GV) had started a theme.

Possible names I thought of for the Frozen Gravy Fairy:
- Vanilla (Vanilla Ice, his hit "Ice, Ice, Baby" is referenced in the Familiar Haiku)
- LL Cool J
- Coldplay
- Britney Spears (She leaves me cold and had a hit with "Baby, hit me one more time")
- Madonna (Had a hit with "Frozen")

According to the action texts I spoiled for myself, the frozen gravy fairy is apparently female. Which leaves the frostbitten MTV-esque question that so utterly defines our time: Britney or Madonna?

Day 1: Valhalla In&Out

Defeating the Sorceress was uneventful. I did have some fun by using the Clockwork Grapefruit for the first time. Also, I ate another couple of brownies. I couldn't be bothered to go for level 12, so picked the "staff" skill instead.

Ascension!

My new life as a Hardcore Turtle Tamer (Zodiac:Packrat) has gotten off to a few highs and lows. I got beaten up by a drunken rat and didn't find two bum cheeks. I did make some sticky meat pants and a bitchin' meat car. I also have all the Knoll ingredients for a maid. Currently, the meat engine is tied to a plunger to provide for some raw fighting power. Time to go looking for skulls and brains. I'm still sleeping on the ground, though.

The number of edible ingredient drops was low too, and aside from two shroomkabobs, I had to resort to eating unprocessed Knoll Mushrooms.

Plans for tomorrow:
Adventure for barskin tent
Adventure for brains and skulls
Adventure for screwdriver :-)
Adventure for boxes and chef's hats.
Time for a vacation/Death to the Boss Bat

Plenty to do, as is obvious. And I also have the option to face my Nemesis!

Keypunch (#30036)
Level 4
Gecko Supervisor
Turns Played (this run): 131
Days Played (this run): 1

Elephant & Castle

All turns were spent in the castle, and I nearly gained enough stats to face the Sorceress. I was a bit surprised (maybe even disappointed) with the lack of speed in progressing. Tomorrow, I'll just continue with the chore wheel set for the mysticality adventures. After beating the sorceress, I'll just have to see if I can reach level 12, otherwise, I'll just ascend by picking a different passive skill. I want to be a Turtle Tamer again.

I'm considering setting up an "Order of Gourmands" or something on the forums. Something to provide people a reason to eat the quality foods and drink the better wines, but yet is also a goal to set for people that are not of incredible wealth.

De-Ronin'd!

I ended the day on Level 9, with no quests left. I could have gone up against the Boner dagon yesterday, but I kind of forgot. Rofl'mao only opened today. I just seemed to be stuck a bit at the Peak, today, and was pretty bored doing the "Kill Yeti, restore MP" routine.

After eating, I had 116 adventures, with 114 turns of Ronin left.

I spent the final two adventures playing with the Pygmy Bugbear Shaman (whom I named "Ginger"). No Hey Deze map, and no real clue about the usefulness about the guy...but he's cute. I have to rethink whether he will replace my standard item drop increasing familiar. Probably will do in softcore, because I don't need the meat from Coffee pixie. But in hardcore? Sometimes, such as in the Hole in the Sky, the fighting from Crimbo Elfling or the Muscle Gravy Fairies is pretty useful!

I also rearranged my museum display, dumped a lot of superfluous crap into the clan stash and put some cool gear up for sale in my store.

Fallen Felonia

Mysticality Day went well. I was horseplaying a lot though. I did finish the quests by Mayor Zapruder. I need to think of a better name for my Stinky Gravy Fairy. Currently, it's "Johnny Rotten", which is okay, but a bit unimaginative and probably done before.

In the more-serious questage I failed to shore for the Meat Globe, but I did get halfway up the Icy Peak. Now, if one of those snowmen ninja's will just drop a cold ninja mask, I can go either hack up Yeti or goats for the meat, and get the Cone of Whatever skill.

Ronin is probably narrowly broken tomorrow, but I don't particularly expect Ascension to be achieved. Nor level 12.

Sushi

On another note, the Emo Roe has the funniest miniature gravy-covered maypole dance description. Evar.

Not a drop of Mad Train wine.

Before going into my next hardcore run, which is basically going to be a copy of my previous attempt, I'm doing a teetotal Pastamancer.

All I wanted to do was get out of Ronin, gain a second mushroom familiar. I've decided to go Pastamancer and get the vaunted "level 12 skill". My job has been made a lot easier with the lowering of Ronin to 600 turns. I was planning to save adventures for mysticality day, but hey, it's fun to click around. This celebration of randomness, after feeling pressured to make every turn count in two ascensions in a row, probably is the primary reason I'm the proud owner of 7 bottles of Mad Train wine. I couldn't help myself to finish the Friar's Quest and after that it was irrestistable to see if I could find the Hey Deze Map...no dice on that front sadly, but at least I got to wear the Imitation Nice Watch. I also got the muscle familiar.

It'll be at least day 4, and maybe day 5, before Ronin will be broken. Just in time for moxie days. My hardcore run will be a repeat, but hopefully somewhat (a few days) faster, due to tricks learned and already knowing Empathy in advance. The pate reward for the teetotal run should also provide a nice boost. On zodiacs, I'm still waffling between "Packrat" and "Wombat". Either way, it will be a moxie sign for the easy access to booze (Hurray for IPA!) and the moxious Gnome Skills.

The hardcore skill I want to get is "Armorcraftiness". I simply abhor the idea of fighting the Naughty Sorceress without my furry suit. I have not decided on what comes after that, but "Pastamastery" (hardcore) is the next must-have skill on the hit list, so it's quite possible I'll follow up with a Pastamancer Hardcore run immediately. I might also go soft, first, but with dietary restrictions.

Day 4: Tower Rush!

A few adventures in the Castle gave me level 11. I thought I could breeze up to the very tip of the tower, before hitting the limitations of my secondaries.

I was wrong. Star Buckler requires a mysticality of 67. So, I adventured in the castle, donated to Jarlsberg and then went on to the yard and tower.
Fighting the Topiary Golems only had me beat up once (SGEEA + scroll), and I didn't even need to take goofballs. Going up the tower, I had deliberately left two items unpulled, hoping they wouldn't appear. Of course, on the first tower level, one of them was required...so I pulled them both.

When I reached the top, I was still lacking in mysticality. I didn't have many adventures, so I pulled mauve paisley oyster eggs. Checking my stats, I saw that a single adventure in a high-level area would be enough to reach the mysticality requirement. I tried the fantasy airship, hoping for a photoneutron torpedo, or a scroll of drastic healing. It dropped another SGEEA...figures.

The code was figured out on the first attempt, the bolt reflected, the Shadow dissolved. The skills that I had gained from my previous runs meant that the familiar battles were a simple matter of pulling the appropiate familiar items. Instant level 20. Then I prepared for the Sorceress battle. I still had some wussiness potions, some plotholes. I used my last pulls for a extra pair of flaming talons, an acid-squirting flower and furry pants. I fully healed HP/MP and went in there with my dodecapede at my side. The fight itself was tense, because a record depended upon my winning it, but was fairly fast. I never dropped below 40HP, and most of my elixirs went unblocked. My plot holes didn't connect as much as I liked, nor did my special attacks. In the end, I basically clubbed her to death with the Wand of Nagamar. Seeing how I'm a Seal Clubber, that's probably just appropiate :-)

With only a handful adventures left...Ascension

Seal Clubber
The Platypus
Turns: 486
Days: 4
Path: Normal, Oxygenarian

Time to take a breather ;-)

Day 3: Almost there...

Today was rather boring. The final Breathetastics went down and I pulled the 688 to finish the Valley Quest and then I went off to have fun with the Yeti. I even donated to the Hall a bit to speed up the progress. The other destination of the meat was the Thrusting Lunge-Smack skill, once I reached level 10.

A single adventure in the Beanbat cave was enough to plant a stalk. The Penultimate Fantasy Airship was neither bad, nor good, RNG-wise. The Castle was a bit of a repetitive routine of Lunge-Smacking and healing up. The chat pane was pretty busy, so I adventured a few times without familiar buffs, and I got beat up once. Luckily an SGEEA and Sroll of Drastic Healing meant that was merely a single turn loss. The chore wheel was reasonable as well, I got a few muscle adventures, then turned it to Moxie at the first chance. At the very last adventure, I got the wheel again, and decided to rotate it towards mysticality, over muscle. Any excess muscle points will help against the Topiary Golems.
Stats:
Muscle: 103 (Only 1 more!)
Mysticality: 64
Moxie: 67

I donated 15k of superfluous meat to boost Mysticality one point. I'll have to see tomorrow, whether I need Rage of the Raindeer against the Topiary Golems, or if I can hack it as I am.. but goofballed up.

Bashy was right about the adventure/stat gains. It's going to be tight, statwise. Especially since I've run out of Breathetastics and all I got is 51 adventures tomorrow. I might be able to pull some stat boosting oyster eggs, but it ends there.

Day 1 & 2: Hard Softcore

With the expenditure of a quite sizeable sum of meat, I'm attempting to smash a record. And which class better to take to smash something than the Seal Clubber?

The fastest softcore oxygenarian run is 9 days, by Almighty Tallest and Fungo the Annoying. They took about 500 adventures. Vindibunny has third place, with 10 days and 543 adventures. I'm quite convinced the reason they took so long was to wait for moon alignment. I'm taking the shortcut, by using 11 cans of Breathetastic Premium Canned Air. It's ridiculous, but hopefully funny. I debated picking Muscle sign, so I could go for that muscle sign familiar as well, but, on second thought that can wait, and the Super-Secret Device will be of much-needed assistance.

On the first day, I simply took 3 Breathetastics, used up my pulls (clockwork maid and 3 TP meat cars being #1) and saved up my adventures for today, the first of two consecutive muscle days.

On this second day, I've been going at it. Pulling Mr. A and two Ms. A, I took another 3 Breathetastics, shored the Distant Dude Ranch holiday for the meat globe and finished the Friar's Quest. Another Breathetastic and time to take out the Plains bosses. The Goblin King was first (glass ball), the Boss Bat soon followed (hurray for Britches!) and then I started slogging through the Cyrpt. Surprisingly, the bonerdagon proved more then a match for me. Stumped, I decided to fight goats for some skills and meat instead. I pulled 3 linonoleum and equipped the maypole for goat cheese. This proved enough of a boost, to be able to kick the Bonerdagon (barely). Next up: Yeti. Pulling the Hot and Cold Running Ninja outfit, I confronted the Yeti. With Eye of The Stoat, I can take them down in three Thrust-Smacks. With the Cheshire Bat fully buffed (35 pounds + wax lips), I make enough meat to heal myself (both HP and MP) and gain stats lightning fast. Soon, the Orc Chasm opened up, and I received the leaflet. I pulled the Pirate Outfit and the 31337 scroll. My pulls were running out, so I secured the chrome sword and imitation nice watch, to make the absolute most of day 3 (another muscle day). My last pull was used to acquire my bugfinder blade, the moment I could afford it. I spent some more adventures in the Valley, and got part of the needed scroll. I'm better off spending them with the Yeti, in order to faster achieve level 10, though.

Stats:
Muscle: 77
Mysticality: 50
Moxie: 49
Turns played: 285

Adventures tomorrow:
6 (left-over) + 56 (40 standard + 8 campground + 8 equipment) + 92 (estimate Breathetastic). = 154.

I start off pulling a 688 scroll, to finish the Valley quest and 4 Breathetastics. From there on it's Yeti-slaying till level 10. A mad dash up the beanstalk, through the Airship and then the fun starts with the Chore wheel. Penguin shorts + Lunging Thrust-smack to deal with the giants.
With a very beneficial RNG, I could make it tomorrow, but it's likely it'll take at least a fourth day to gain stats, acquire the gear needed for the sorceress lair (both by farming and pulling from storage).

Day XVII: Return of the Suspense

I started off with some succesful PvP. Thanks for the flowers, folks! Four adventures in the Castle netted me the needed mask. I was quite lucky finding astronomers, when buffed up. All in all a costly and hasslesome affair. Healing up is sooo costly. Constantly switching back and forth the lead necklace, to go visit Yeti peak. I ate some spicy enchanted bean burrito's (clover day - lucky break #1). The Bounty Hunter Hunter accepted Yeti Skin, I'd rather have it was Penguin Skin, but accepting any skin at all was a boon. (lucky break #2).

In the end, I got my star stuff within a reasonable period. Time to hit the Lair! Of course I breezed through the Entrance and the Hall (although I had to try the Digital Key Code twice, before getting it right). The Hedge Maze was tough. I thought a muscle strategy might work there, but even with a boosted muscle of close to 170 or so, I couldn't hit the broad side of a barn. So, I switched back to the money-consuming Snapping strategy. I used both goofballs and flowers, had to visit the Peak for a refill, or heal at the campground and slowly but surely fixed the puzzle.

Hurray! Time for the tower. Taking all the saved gear from my Collossal Campground Closet, I thought it would be an easy 6 clicks. First level: Bowling Cricket. Wait-a-minute! I don't have that item. One adventure backfarming solved that. Second level: Finger of F8. Arrgh! Don't have that one either. But another single-adventure backfarm solved that too. (Lucky breaks #3 and #4). The rest of the tower went as planned. I hacked the access code in one attempt. Forgot to equip the shard, so had to recoup and spend another adventure...I was running a bit low on those. Pre-healing for my Shadow was another costly affair, but so be it. Next up: Familiar Battle!

Naturally, the first familiar required was the Barrrnacle. For which I had 0 kills yet. Luckily, I did fine on the poundage-gaining, and got a sucky decal (#5). By this time, I was autoselling whatever I didn't absolutely need anymore. The Legend Keys, the breathsprays, my star equipment, everything. The potato was next. I had 11 adventures left. I was full and nearly falling down drunk. Poundage gaining was not as efficient, but luckily, I got the many-eyed glasses (#6). 1 adventure left. Even more superfluous stuff was gotten rid off. I was able to fully heal and buy 13 elixirs. Time to cross my fingers and go for it.

A single adventure left. A single shot for the day.

It was the most tense fight ever. The first form was pretty tough. I tried to use elixirs, but only one worked. A single plot hole changed the balance, as did my dodecapede. The acid-squirting flower did it's work, but headbutts and regular attacks rarely connected. The spectral snapper was a waste. The second form was even more frantic, until I got a lucky break (#7!). Two elixirs and a plot hole went unblocked in a row. Some fighting further I got a photoneutron prototorpedo in. I was getting desperate and tried all my remaining elixirs, one of them worked and saved me! A combined effort of the dodecapede, the acid-squirting flower and some frigid ninja stars meant the demise of the second form. I stood back, and enjoyed the wondrous text of my anagramatic battle with the third and final form. The King was free!

All that was left was to take my Cheshire Bat, Grin Reaper, and jump into the gash.

Ascension.

Keypunch (#30036)
Level 11
Crocodile Lord
Ascended in: 1,898 turns, spread over 18 days.
Hardcore, No Path.

Backfarming!

I realized, I need a wolf mask, still. In my quest for that, I might get some plotholes as well...that'd be neat. But, blegh...more adventures needed! For stat-sanity reasons, I will farm this item before the star charts.

Day 17: Better not strike back, Empire!

So, all I need is 3 star charts, and a bunch of stars and lines...

There are several approaches I can take.
a) Continue Snappering. Simply alternate with farming the Peak and hope I get lucky on those drops, soon enough.
b) PvP for flowers and cook/cocktailcraft flowerpower food. Keep snappering. It will take less healing that way
c) PvP for flowers. Increase muscle and +initiative. Cast Tenacity of the Snapper. Try headbutting the holy crap out of them, and take 'em down that way. If it works, it will drastically reduce healing. If it fails, I get beat up.

I'm a bit too low on muscle for c). I can use an extra Boris ring and kentucky-fried meat sword, but that's it. I don't have any other initiative increasers beside penguin shorts, and they hardly compensate for the loss of moxie I get by equipping muscle-increasers.
Option b) has as drawback that it costs me food and drink opportunities, also 2 adventures spent for 3 adventures of adventuring. Then again, hunting Yeti costs 2 adventures as well, to buy a decent amount of healing...
Strategy a) works, but am I tough enough to take on an Astronomer? Fighting Yeti will help me get a tad stronger, so eventually this will work.

I'm going for a) mostly because of time pressure. If I meet an astronomer, and he kicks me, I'll pick b) from then on. It's a gamble.

Also, to save adventures, I won't farm for food, until I need too. I'm going to farm enchanted beans. If it's a clover day, I can spice them up. Easy-peasy. Hopefully the microbrewery booze is a good one. And hey, if the stars align, the Bounty Hunter will accept penguin skins. Meat-xtravaganza!

The hopeful section:
Beating the Sorceress.
The courtyard is the first troublesome part of the ordeal. I'll use goofballs and flower power. I should have the items for all of the possible tower monsters and rest of the Lair puzzles. I hope to have adventures (and meat) to spare to level up my familiars. If push comes to shove, I can autosell some of the outfits which I no longer need to pay for it. If it is clover-day, I can cook up the cocoa-eggs and save another couple of levelling adventures. As it is, with the lead necklace, empathy and sympathy, they only need 49 kills, anyway.
Next stop is the Sorceress herself. Seeing as it is so close, I'm going to throw some fights, first, if adventures allow me.
I'll equip Furry suit, wand, dodecapede, squirting flower, hobo gloves and eXtreme mittens. I'll buy some dozen Doc Galactik's Homeopathic Elixir and use frigid stars, headbutts and regular attacks. I also have wussiness potion and plothole to use. If possible, I'll save those for the second form.

Day Sixteen: A New Hope

Farming was weird. The goblin chefs dropped mostly mushrooms and spices. I decided that I didn't want to waste adventures farming, so I simply ate mushroom pizza. I'll have to research what's best adventure-wise to eat tomorrow, because all my stats are adequate. I used the spices to spice up the remaining rum.

Of course, I forgot hairspray and some minor errors in changing to the right familiar, but soon, in the Giant Castle, a warm subject gift certificate dropped. Which I quickly exchanged for a Goth Kid shirt. Then I gained a giant needle, part of the Castle Map quest. Next you know it, an Alphabet Giant slung a Heavy D at me! I ran off to my campground and pasted it together with the other letters; a wand of nagamar owner is me! The awful poetry journal and furry fur were quick to follow, so I started to turn the wheel counterclockwise and gained another moxie point, before turning it to "Guard" and finishing the Castle Map quest.

I've decided to not worry about the superfluous stats. The Naughty Sorceress will be a bit tougher, but it's *still* all about strategy. Strategy I know well.

The rest of my time was spent divided between the Hole in the Sky and the Icy Peak of Mt. McLargeHuge. I eventually remembered about hairspray. It did not make much of a difference, every adventure in the Hole has me healing HP and MP like a madman, anyway. That's why I need to go to the Peak, to be able to afford the literally thousands upon thousands of meat to pay for Doc Galactik's Ailment Ointment and soda water.

My current tactic is working though. Aided by the Crimbo Elfling, I use Spectral Snapper as many times as needed, and take the damage like a man. A man with hippopotamus pants. In the end, I've picked up 13 stars and 6 lines, by taking down 3 Hooded Warriors, 3 Junks, 3 Family Jewels, 2 Pork Swords and a One-Eyed Willie. Basically, I need to run into some astronomers fast and I've got a shot at ascending tomorrow.

Keypunch (#30036)
Level 11
Crocodile Lord
Turns Played (this run): 1,768
Days Played (this run): 16

Day Sixteen: Sweet?

Well, with food and booze plans hammered out (sausage pizza + IPA), and the adventuring path linearly laid out (castle quest, farm for stars), what's there to preplan?

Well, there's the question of stats. I don't have to worry about my secondaries. I need 9 more of my main though. If my calculations are correct, I need 1711 muscle subpoints, before I can start adventuring at the Sorceress Lair.

Also, there's a question of items. I need a total of 3 star charts, 17 stars and 19 lines, to make the crossbow, key and buckler. I need furry fur, a giant needle and awful poetry for the Giant quest. I still need a heavy D as well for the Wand of Nagamar.

For tomorrow, it might pay to first go for the castle quest, together with Flip (the Crimbo Elf), after pizza farming. I plan to only turn the wheel to star stuff, once I have all that stuff, and hope I have gained a lot of muscle in the meantime. The minute I have the star stuff, I can switch to Cheshire bat, return to the castle and turn the wheel back to muscle. I shouldn't forget about the power of hairspray.

I already have 2 full cocoa eggs. If it's clover day tomorrow, I'll turn those two into lucky surprise eggs, but won't farm for another.

Summarizing my goals: Farm for pizza, finish giant quest, farm for stars/lines, farm for muscle stat.

*cross your fingers*

Day Fifteen: Looking Down and Astern

Farming for knob sausages is way more efficient than beans. I'm going for knob sausage pizza 'till the end now, I need those adventures. My chef blew up mixing them, but I got back nearly everything except a smart skull. My time in the Cyrpt made sure I still had some of those, so my chef was back without an adventure spent.

Fighting the Yeti went pretty well. The airship was, over-all, a wash. The four "characters" never hit me. The "irritating series of random encounters" only did minor damage. The MagiMechTech MechaMech, however, is an utter bitch. It beat me up once, and it cost me a lot of juice to defeat it afterwards. Luckily, it did drop the Metallic A and photoneutrontorpedo! Got them both in one drop. Twice. I also got all of the immateria and the S.O.C.K. adventure.

The Castle is a tough place. I got the wheel once, but left it where it was at, and even got the muscle adventure once. Some furry fur dropped, which I forged into furry pants, forgetting that I need that fur to solve the castle quest. Oh well, it might drop again. Also got an Original G and a Chaos butterfly, which went into my campground stash, to come out when the tower opens up.

On the booze front, I paid for the bloody mary special. They are nearly twice as expensive as IPA, but they give a handful of stat points. I need those stat points.

Keypunch (#30036)
Level 10
Rattlesnake Chief
Turns Played (this run): 1,646
Days Played (this run): 15

Day Fifteen: Looking Up and Ahead

Progress has been slow. It's straightforward, but slow. I need to increase muscle, but I wasted a good opportunity to donate by accidentally buying Tenacity of the Snapper.

So, how now, brown cow?

Particular dilemma:Food & Booze
For booze I can always simply fall back on IPA. Food however is more complex. Fishing for spices *does* still cost adventures. Gathering beans was expensive as well. On the other hand, the meat was nice, and there's still a chance of shirt. I'll think that clover day, or not, I'll pick the "farm for pizza, then beans to match number of spices found"-plan tomorrow, and see how that works out.

The rest of the strategy is pretty straight-forward. Gain 2 muscle by doing the thing I do at the Peak so well. Then try to make as quick a run as possible through the Airship, although I should at least get one Metallic A and a photoprotoneutron torpedo.

One thing I have to ponder at the airship is whether to go for a "moxie + snapper" strategy, or for "muscly headbutt".
In the first approach, I equip as many moxie bonuses as possible. That way I won't be hit, and can safely Snapper my enemies to their demise. This is MP costly.
In the second approach, I try to boost my combat skills and try to headbutt my enemies as fast as possible. This might be more HP costly.
Looking at the gear I can equip, I'm tempted to go for the muscle approach. I put on some penguin shorts to increase my spead, slap on a chrome helmet for stat bonus and headbutting panache, and equip some selection of boris ring, bad-ass belt, shiny ring and sneaky pets' breath spray. For my weapon I can pick either the drywall axe (high power) or the kentucky-fried meat sword (muscle bonus).
The benefit of the muscle approach is that soda water costs 70meat for 3-5 MP restored. That's 280-490meat per Spectral Snapper. At at least 2 spectral snappers per opponent, that's an average of 385 meat per foe, just to Snapper them. This is cost-effective against Yeti, but not against Airship denizens.
Doc Galactik's Ailment Ointment is just 60meat for 8-10HP recovered. Even at 40 damage per opponent (I hope it's less), that will be, on average a "mere" 270meat. Which leaves 140 meat to pay for soda water to compensate headbutts.
(Dammit, I wish I had that 8000meat left to pick up the drain of meat)

If I manage to reach the Giant Castle (unlikely), I will simply let the Wheel sit at Muscle for today. Reaching the Giant Castle is, however, an explicit goal for the day! The clock is ticking. After all, if I want to start that softcore oxygenarian sealclubber run before muscle day, I need to get a move on. Run, Keypunch, run.

Day 14: Highs and lows

So, all went well. It was a clover-day, so I ate spicy bean burrito's, as planned. It's somewhat adventure costly, but the meat was a nice bonus. PvPing and using flower power to attack the Yeti, worked. After a while, I didn't even need the flowers anymore. Then came the first low, I accidentally bought Tenacity of the Snapper, instead of Spectral Snapper. 8000 meat down the drain. With some resting, I could still afford Spectral Snapper (which makes fighting on the peak that much easier), but what a waste!

Another low was finding out that merely level 10 is not enough to climb the beanstalk, you need to have 90 full stat points in your main...I'm working towards that goal. I tell myself that once I get there, life will be easy.

Anyway, tomorrow, I'll save adventures on flower-hunting (1 on the attack, 1 for the mixing), I'll get more adventures from drinking pale ale (or the special) and hopefully, I'll be hurt less by the Airship monsters, if/when I get there. Being beat up a couple of times wasn't handy either...I'm moving too slow as it is!

Keypunch (#30036)
Level 10
Rattlesnake Chief
Turns Played (this run): 1,531
Days Played (this run): 15

Day 14: Soft Options

With just 2 full muscle points to go, at least at the end of tomorrow, I should be able to reach level 10 and go up the beanstalk. My choices are pretty linear: simply adventure there 'till the castle is reached.

I do need to answer a couple of other questions:
1) PvP strategy.
Yesterday I picked 6 fights, of which 4 netted me flowers, one was accidentally for rank and I lost one. I can say that flowerpicking works to an extent. It might be a neat addition to goofballs, once I confront the Topiary Golems. When used against the Yeti, I profit enough to be able to afford Hatorade. I don't think I need it on the Fantasy Airship and also not against the Giants. After all, I can use better gear then, my stats will be better, and IIRC the monsters on the Airship, except for the MagiMechTech MegaMech, are weaker than Yeti's.
On the one hand, I hope that other PvP'ers will hit me, I could even strip for that, so that any attack is a guaranteed win, on the other hand...I do have some PvP-pride!
- flaw in PvP: losing a battle when attacked isn't bad, because it allows you to attack weaker players. Winning a battle when attacking is good, because it gains you a flower. Winning a battle when attacked is only good for your pride, losing a battle when attacking is costly stat losses.
When you weigh it all up and down, the two sides in a PvP battle, actually both benefit the most from an "attacker wins" scenario!

2) Buying a skill.
I could buy Tenacity of the Snapper, or one of the two gnome skills ("Cosmic Ugnderstandign" and "Gnefarious Pickpocketing".). Instead, I think I will try to save up for Spectral Snapper. Especially if tomorrow I dance with the Yeti, I should be able to afford it. The spectral snapper will, after all, allow me to simply rely on moxie alone, boost that up to the high heavens, and kill monsters simply by expending soda-water fueled MP.

3) Food & Booze
I see no "native" supply of booze in the future. I have got, however, still a small supply of glasses of goat's milk. If I could somewhere score a few bottles of vodka (frathouse or Menagerie level 3), this would be a double whammy. On the one hand it would boost muscle points, on the other hadn improve my PvP-ing...in the end, I might better simply stick with the Microbrewery.
Food on the other hand, is a matter of choice between sausage pizza, (spicy) bean burrito or (spicy) enchanted bean burrito.
All three require dough, which I have a bunch of, or else can easily be bought at the Bugbear Bakery.
Farming the kitchens relative quickly drops enough sausages. Any extra tomatoes for the pizza can be bought from the hippies. Collateral drops consist of a little meat, spices (useful), dry noodles (useless), knob mushrooms (useless).
Farming the beanbat chamber will be the fastest to get enough ingredients. However, I don't need the mysticality statboost. Collateral drops consist of some meat.
Farming the treasury is slow. Regular beans have a low drop-rate on one out of four encounters. Collateral drops are knob goblin elite stuff (including a shirt!), a decent amount of meat and the remote chance of an ultra-rare encounter.

If it's a clover-day tomorrow, I'll adventure in the treasury (and make spicy bean burrito's). If it's not, I'll farm the kitchen for (5 minus # of spices) sausages after which I will go into the treasury for beans, and have a mixed diet of pizza and burrito.

Day XIII: The Reckoning

A mish-mashed day, in the end.

The Daily Dungeon netted the much-looked after Jarlsberg Key. So, that's done. 8 adventures extra per day!

I wasn't able to defeat the Yeti, not even with a PvP'ed flower. So, I harvested some Knob Sausages and had pizza. My chef held up, surprisingly. Not even a single clunk. Might be the silence before the storm. Fighting at the Menagerie Level 1 was less to my liking. Only two fruit golems, and they didn't drop limes. I quickly tried my hand at Fernswarthy's tower, but no brain. Not to mention that I would also need to get the beer lenses. I pvp'ed two more people, succesfully. Fun, fun, fun.

A bit clueless on what to do, I focused my attention on the ninja snowmen, and gained quite a few stats kicking them in the shins. In fact, near the end of my turns, I dared to ferment another flower and try my hand once more at the Yeti, armed with the kentucky-fried meat sword. I succeeded! I shortly got into a rhytm of killing 3 yeti, and pvp-ing some poor sap for the flower. Stat gains were cool, but more importantly, meat gains were enough to keep buying healing potions and fermenting powder. I could even have afforded hatorade. The problem is that my ranking slowly crept up and the number of easy targets slowly swindled. I had also accidentally attacked for rank once... My winning streak ended with a sour loss of 25 subpoints in all stats. My remaining adventures were spent with the by-now hapless ninja snowmen, and boozing up the mixed rum.

My stats are a bit skewed from the "moxie, moxie, moxie" priority. I already have the needed 70 moxie and am also in the 60's with mysticality, while my muscle is just in the 80's. To add insult to injury, I first mixed up two strawberry daiquiri (rum & strawberry), which give moxie, instead of monkey wrenches (rum & grapefruit), which give mysticality. I see no new source of booze though, so it's going to be microbrewery supplies form here on. More on food&booze in the day 14 planning post.

In drunken condition, I tested the gains from the Hobo-Flex in the Noblesse Oblige Clan Gym. My adventures there had identical substat gains to my level. Is that how it works? Substat gain in the gym being equal to current level? Might be efficient at level 5 or 6, when I was experiencing "inertia".

Also, I autosold some superfluous gear, and had over 6,000 meat. Enough to buy "Tenacity of the Snapper" or one of the two remaining Gnome skills. We'll also see about that tomorrow.

Keypunch (#30036)
Level 9
Bullfrog Overseer
Turns Played (this run): 1,411
Days Played (this run): 13

"Big Ascension"

Just musing that it would be funny to create a clan called "Big Ascension". You would have a male and female character of each class start a Hardcore Ascension. Every few days or so, they would get side missions (donate x items to the clan stash), and you could vote those off that failed.

Would be a fun "event" for the administration to orchestrate. They could provide the accounts, to make sure everyone was on equal footing. On the forums or front page, people could keep track of standings.

Day XIII: Jacob's Ladder

Might this be my lucky day? The plan (after running the DD and gaining the final key):
PvP someone. Gain flower.
Cocktailcraft. Gain shot of flower schnapps.
Drink shot of flowerschnapps. Gain Flower Power.
Attack Yeti. Kill Yeti.
Lather.
Rinse.
Repeat.
After a while, I might test if I don't need the Flower Power anymore. And I'm going to hit only the most toolest of tools.

If this plan runs amuck anywhere...it's food-farming time. To the beanbat cave for enchanted beans. Simply buy wads of dough from the Bugbear Bakery. See if the chef blows, go on a mission for spare parts if he does. Maybe also get a lime (and some cherries) from the Menagerie level 1. If there's clovers, I can do a spice run.

If it doesn't go awry, I should reach level 10 in a reasonable amount of time. This means I can move on to the fantasy airship and, eventually, the castle. I should not forget to pick up a metallic A and photoprotoneutron torpedo at the ship. A few cocoa eggshell fragments would be nice, to cook up a lucky surprise egg or two, in the near future.

Moxie being no longer a priority, the wheel will turn clockwise and clockwise. I need to catch up with Myst, and some more muscle is no luxury, at all. If the Desert Beach has a muscle bonus special, I'll drink that. (Must mind the drunkenness from the schnapps, though)

You could have ascended by now!

Actually, had I chosen softcore, I could have ascended twice. Or if I was Bashy, four times, or so. Looking at the leaderboards, other people have done faster first-time runs (Turtle Tamer) and if I read back I've seen places for improvement.

I'm undeniable reaching the end-game though. Only two more levels to gain, and one more quest to complete (Trash Quest) before I get access to the Naughty Sorceress quest. After I finish my business on the Peak, i'll only need to come down from the Beanstalk to possibly farm for some goodies. It already seems ages ago that beating the Goblin King seemed like an insurmountable challenge.

Anyway, even though I might toil for a few days more (if only because of a fickle RNG, regarding the last Daily Dungeon key), I need to think about the next step: Ascension. What skill to pick? What new class, path and type to follow? What will my new goals be? How will I use my rewards?

I like to be practical in achieving as many goals together at once. This is why, after weighing options, I'm going to ascend as a softcore oxygenarian sealclubber under the mongoose sign.
a) I get away from the hardcore slowness, non-interaction (granted, softcore oxygenarians are slow as well, but not as slow as hardcore. At least I'll get to make pulls to shorten the run until I break the new, shortened, ronin.
b) I do an oxygenarian run. The one type I haven't done yet.
c) I'll get another happy happy fun muscle sign familiar. :-)
d) I'll get to play with my bugbear shaman. Oxy's don't need food, so they can autosell and spend it on soda water. Which is not a food, nor alcohol. Seal Clubbers don't need their MP much, so that helps as well.
e) I'll put my stainless skullcap helmet to good use.
f) I'll get a neat reward, which I can use to kickstart my next run.
g) If I time it right (ie. hurry my current run), I'll be able to make full use of muscle day as well.
h) I'll have another neat skill on my softcore list.
i) If I'm fast enough, I can make the leaderboards.

*starts plotting and scheming*

Day Twelve: We don't play guitarrrs!

Daily Dungeon delivered me a Sneaky Pete Key. I'm pondering finding a lime, to cook it up in a cake.

I got apathy from an apathetic lizardman, so I used that opportunity to level up some of the key familiars at the Cake-Shaped Arena. If I'm lucky with cocoa-eggshell fragment drops, I'll be quite prepared for the Naughty Sorceress...

On with adventuring! The pirates didn't want to drop their guitarrrs. Grrr... Although it might have something to do with me forgetting to bring my Crimbo Elf, at first. Eventually it did drop and there was much rejoicing. I also now have a decent stash of rum, which I can mix up in a variety of amusing ways. I have to look into the most efficient way though. I drank one left-over eggnog from yesterday and checked out the Gnomish Microbrewery. Spiced rum! For only 5 more meat than an IPA, you could get a major statboosting booze. That really made my day. Adventuring at the Valley was uneventful. I got all scrolls in acceptable time, and summoned both the 31337 h4x0r as well as helped out the Baron. I also got a meat vortex and much-needed lowercase 'n'. The next stop, the ninja snowmen, was just as cooperative, they dropped frigid stars on the first attack and were no major combat obstacle.

The Icy Peak, however, proved just out of range. The eXtreme weather gear takes up a vital accessory slot. And even though the pants and hat are cool (pun!), they are slightly less powerful than my regular garments, which carry stat bonuses to boot. I couldn't hit the Yeti, except with my Chronic Indigestion, which is mana-intensive (for my low myst) and doesn't provide enough punch to take out a Yeti. I even used the meat from the h4xx0r to buy extra protective skills (Tao of the Terrapin, Ghostly Shell and Gnomish Hardigness). In my attempts I got beat up twice and had to flee another two times. I decided it wasn't worth it, and my remaining adventures were spent tangling with the snowmen.

Two important things to remember: Pay attention whether I have the right familiar, and also I should stop clicking on the Hippy Camp, when I disguise myself and intend to go to the Hippy Shop!

Keypunch (#30036)
Level 9
Bullfrog Overseer
Turns Played (this run): 1,290
Days Played (this run): 12

Day Twelve: Procrastinating like a Giant

For some reason, I like the current phase in the game, and am not in a hurry to move on. I'm thinking up things like: "I should try to farm for that guitarrr and pirate shirt". The first is true, the second is false. Also "Maybe spending adventures at the Arena to level up familiars and get their items is helpful". This is actually partially true. Getting the familiar equipment for my Cheshire bat and/or Elfling would help. Also, having 9 wins at the arena, ready to get one familiar at a whim for the Naughty Sorceress battle would not be a bad idea. But it's costly and with little consequence.

Also, I have issues to deal with: spices, food, brains, beer lenses and skills.
Skills being actually best dealt with going forward. The meat is good at the Peak. And statgains and meatwise, I'm really at the endgame. If not for that pesky star garb stuff, I could basically stay at the Peak untill I was high-level enough to begin the Sorceress quest. But enough lamenting, time to formulate a plan.

The real plan includes a visit to the Daily Dungeon. Just like everyday, Pinky. After that Flip , the Crimbo Elf, goes with me to the Pirates. I shall get my guitarrr. On to the valley. I shall get my scrolls. On to Lair of the Ninja Snowmen. I shall get my frigid star. A switch to Cheshire Bat. On to the Peak. I shall slay my Yeti, until level 10 knocks on my door.

I'll ignore the pending food problem, as I still have enough crappy food to go by.

Day 11: Knott Yeti? Not yet.

Glossing over the fact that I'm now the proud owner of a Boris ring, the Daily Dungeon went glitchless.

The goats ditched whiskey, cheese and meat. Bless 'em. Enough meat even, to buy a gnome skill. I picked "Powers of Observatiogn", which helped some extra cheese drop quicker. Flip, the Crimbo Elfling, helped me quickly to some Cold Weather Gear. A nice surprise was that finishing that final part of the tr4pz0r quest not only means he gives you 5 yeti furs (which immediately got traded and smithed into the yakskin, hipposkin and penguinskin pants), but also 5000 meat! The 5000 meat, which I could use to get Torso Awaregness. I tried hop-skipping to the ninja snowmen, but they beat me up! I simply failed to hit them, although Flip managed to kick them hard enough in the knees to take 'em down. Not worth the trouble, seeing as I only want frigid stars.

Back to the Obligatory Cove: Farming the pirates for a guitarrr failed miserably, but I did reach level 9 and got some other goodies. With level 9, both a strange leaflet was waiting for me at the Council, as did they want me to help the Baron of Rofl'Mao. I plughed the code into the Strange Leaflet, as well as acquired the Instant house. Then I disguised myself. I got the abridged dictionary on the first attempt, but really wanted to get the pirate shirt. Apparently the droprate has changed, because I wasted quite some adventures without getting it, I did continue 'till I got the adventure that drops 3 spices. Which I mixed with the rum and ghuol eggs for the eggnogg. Drinking that quality beverage compensated for the meagre food. A visit to the untinkerer and a switch into my Battlegear later, I started confronting the fearsome denizens of the Valley beyond the Orc Chasm with my dictionary. Scrolls have been slow to drop, so far, but a meat vortex is in my possession. Stat gains are not impressive, but if I get my hands on the 31337 scroll, that'll help.

Keypunch (#30036)
Level 9
Bullfrog Overseer
Turns Played (this run): 1,165
Days Played (this run): 11

Day 11: Camp Base Camp

It's day 11, already...It's ridiculous, it's not even funny.

Charting my progress and looking back, I see where I could have shaved off some adventures, but not more than a day or so. Okay, maybe two days, but I'd have missed out on the experience of Hardcore. For it has been that, an experience.

My first task of the day is still the Daily Dungeon. *crosses fingers for luck*

I'm really upbeat about the whole affair from there on, actually, although I already fear the Hole-in-the-Sky, but let's not get ahead of schedule just yet. I finished last day's wrap-up with stating I could already "smell the Yeti's", which is a bit of an exaggeration. I'm still at the base of Mt. McLargeHuge. I think I'm not going to switch to the Crimbo Elfling, after all. The goatlet is the first place that gives good meat, and I have a back catalogue of skills to buy. The stats are good, I don't need healing, the meat is plentiful and the drops are not bad. I can certainly stay there untill the RNG has deemed me worthy enough to supply 6 goat cheeses, without trying to manipulate it.

Once I pass it, though, I think I will take the Crimbo Elfling (and the choice adventures) to the eXtreme slope, for speedy acquisition of the Cold Weather Gear. Only a few of the adventures there are combat adventures, and not all of them drop meat. I should not forget to hop-skip over to the other slope, to take some frigid ninja stars. Also, this would be a great moment to go back to the Pirates and snap up the guitarrr that I did not acquire yesterday. With any luck, I'll get some rum as well.

Next stop: The Icy Peak!
Now, that will really get interesting. Taking the Cheshire Bat (of course), will I be able to stand up to the hairy brutes that roam there? Will I be able to make enough to heal myself, while making good headways statwise. Will I need to resort to desperate measures?

But that's just the easy part of figuring out what to do. There are some dilemma's too:

a) Reaching level 9. If this happens, I get the Valley Quest, which is a high-damage, low reward area. Do I immediately go for it, armed with the Elfling, to solve the quest and reap the rewards? Or do I farm at the Peak first? I'll probably go for the second, and keep that up if I don't get my butt kicked, then return to the Peak with the Bat to up my stats.

b) Torso Awaregness. I could (quite easily) get a Pirate Shirt, which is a nice moxie booster. And I plan on getting it anyway, in order to make a Goth Kid Shirt drop. It's 5000 meat down the drain however, which could go to other worthy skills. Since Torso Awaregness is pretty cool, I'm very tempted. Although Powers of Observatiogn is cool too.

c) Food. My reserves of food have drained a little, and my Chef has been making noises for two days, straight. I might need to farm for parts and ingredients. It might not be clover day tomorrow. Do I eat low quality food (hot wings, goat cheese pizza and perhaps spam witch sammitches), or do I spice up a few enchanted bean burrito's and go look for a brain? I'm actually thinking I better live on the land, than farm - my ingredients won't run away.

d) Strange Leaflet & Stat Script. If I reach level 9, it's not unlikely that I'll get my paws on the Strange Leaflet and the Stat Script either. Do I use the big stat bonuses immediately, or save them 'till mysticality day? I'm leaning towards using them immediately. After all, if I haven't ascended before day 14 of this run (which is Mysticality day), chances are that I'll have reached the Giant Castle by then. Which means I could turn the chore wheel to provide myst adventures.

Day 10: Mostly As Planned

The Daily Dungeon was conquered by a flawless victory. Well...except for the getting a Jarlsberg Earring part. Right Legend, Wrong Item.

Next, I set off for the mines and two choice adventures later, I was already hacking at veins. 2 linoleum, 1 cave-in and an abestos ore later, I got the coveted chrome. Mopping up the Cyrpt was uneventful, if a bit long, again, with the skeletons. Then I sewered for spices (hurray for ten-leaf clovers) and ate some spicy burrito's to get my Chronic Indigestion up to strength. In my enthusiasm, I even overate, so that the lihc eye pie would not fit. I did take the shot of flower-schnapps and donned my hairspray, so I was pretty confident I could take on the Bonerdagon anyway.

A few headbutts and a flaming burp later...victory!

Time to spend the remaining turns. Only a handful of pirates fell under my spiked femur, 'till I got a stuffed shoulder parrot from telling a bad joke. A single visit to the mines netted me the needed linoleum ore. Quite a few battles with goats did wonders for my stats, as for my meat supply. I autosold the gifted linoleum sword (don't tell the tr4pz0r) and some other stuff (like the piles of skeleton bones and smart skulls), which together with the Bonerdagon and goat meat was enough to gain Empathy.

I spiced up the bottle of pirate rum and put some lemons from the Hippy Store in the goat-dropped whiskey for my final run. I only realized after I had drunk the spiced rum, that I could also have whipped up Ghuol Eggs through it for eggnog!

More goats suffered my wrath, and as of this writing, I actually have two goat cheese's already. My myst is already good enough to put on the eXtreme scarf, later on. I can practically smell the Yeti's already!

Keypunch (#30036)
Level 8
Salamander Subduer
Turns Played (this run): 1,048
Days Played (this run): 10