Day 1: Club! Club! Club!

Well, three pieces of Pate gives a neat boost to the start. I blasted through the low-level quests and area's. Even had to slow down to pick up a good weapon, because nothing better than my seal club had dropped.

I might have to untinker my autoplunger when I want to use the shore, but enough spiffy weapons drop along the way for that soon not to be a problem. I've decided that going to specifically gather stuff for a maid is too much hassle. The turns she provides are hardly worth it. The chef is far more important in that regard. If the necessary parts drop along the way, maybe...but not for now.

I need to make a decision on what to do tomorrow. I could go for shore access and eat chow mein, already! Or just Spaghetti-with-Skullheads might be easier to get and I should make short work of the Friar's and Goblin King.

Heh, you can Trick or Treat drunk. Three adventures in the Knob Goblin Harem Girl outfit have taught me that that outfit gives Knob Goblin Love potions. *giggle*. I don't have much use for those, however.

Keypunch (#30036)
Level 5
Penguin Frightener
Turns Played (this run): 181 -> update 184
Days Played (this run): 1

Ascension Day

Well, defeating the Sorceress took two tries. Should've taken stink bombs the first time, as well.

According to my Kingdom of Loathing record, I took 7,683 spent over 60 days. According to my own stats, it's actually 1337 turns (yeah, was aiming for that) over 12 days. 3 days of server crash interfered to make it real-time of 15 days.

Halloween today, so when I was done with the sorceress, I put on my Hippy Outfit and tricked or treated for herb brownies. Yum, yum. With my stomach of steel, that's 10 more for the grind.

I forgot everything else (cast noodles/reagents, museum, untinker meat car, etc.) and jumped into the gash. I was really tempted to go Disco Bandit, due to stat days coming up, but have decided on Seal Clubber, taking Amphibious Sympathy as Hardcore Permanent Skill.

Time to start for real.

Day 59: Almost there.

I was surprisingly close to ascending today. Lucky break from the Daily Dungeon gave me the final key. A lack of turns for levelling & familiar equipment broke me up, however. I get +10 from skills, so I only need around 25 kills plus the familiar equipment (which always takes ten turns), or 49 kills plus the lead necklace.

Fighting in the Castle and Hole in the Sky was a new experience with Wrath Serum and Blood of the Wereseal. One or two-hit killing of monsters (with headbutt) above the beanstalk just is very gratifying as a muscle class. I also used the Mafia Aria's in combination with Blood of the Wereseal. It's fun to discover these effects and the stacking of effects, which I never used before. It's also a lot less time-consuming than Spectral Snappering and just simply more the style of a muscle class.

For the Tower, I luckily didn't get the Desktop Globe, but I did have to farm for a razorsharp can-lid.

There's little that I see blocking my Ascension tomorrow.

Keypunch (#30036)
Level 11
Crocodile Lord
Turns Played (this run): 1,280
Days Played (this run): 59

Day LVIII: Over the Mountain, Up the Beanstalk, Through the Ship, Into the Castle

I used orangy potions to fight in the castle, but will try to preserve them for the Hole in the Sky. Blood of the Wereseal should help me in the next days.

Farmwise, it's not been all that great. I still need a metallic A, a wolf mask and giant needle. Plus the star stuff, of course. Time to bring out Twitch, soon. Especially as my stats are getting to the necessary minimum (104-70-70) to fight the Sorceress.

Keypunch (#30036)
Level 10
Rattlesnake Chief
Turns Played (this run): 1,162
Days Played (this run): 58

Day 57: Which is actually a Nine.

Checking from my records, I started the day at 9, except it claims this was a 57 day run, counting from my last *recorded* ascension, it, of course, is.

So, after checking and, indeed, noticing I was broke, I investigated the new content. Not in the mood for speeding, I took my delicious time, but since it was suddenly, magically a muscle day, I did particularly well anyway.

The temporal rifts are hilarious. A nice peek into the past on the plains, with lots of humorous "you know what happens next" references. The Forest has a really cool sight gag, where all the current stuff is put into the pre-ascension space. The woods were epxanded back then, to give it a more roomy feel.
The Mysterious Island has a link to the future, where it's simply scorched earth.

I started the day adventuring in the one adventureable place at the other side of the temporal rift in the plains. Suddenly, I found myself in the middle of the cola wars of days yonder! I gathered costumes of both sides and fought both in and out of disguise. Hilarious references. I also did the Pretentious Artist and got tattoos for both the Cloaca and Dyspepsi Cola Uniforms. After I felt I had exhausted the new content, I continued my regular adventuring.

Daily Dungeon for a Boris Ring, The Goatlet for cheese, the eXtreme slope for the Cold-Weather Gear, to the Island for the Pirate Outfit and dictionary, to the untinkerer, into the Valley. I ate differently then planned, because of the huge bonus on muscle. Two knob sausage chow meins, one fettucini Inconnu, the spicy quesidilla and a hot wing. Eventually got one lowercase N, and called it a day in the valley and decide to move on.

Instead of fighting the regular Yeti, though, I went through the temporal rift in the Big Mountains, and fought on the Icy Peak there. Besides the benefits of scrolls of pasta summoning and mafia aria and such, I also didn't need to wear cold protection, so I could keep my good gear, instead of that crappy coldweather gear.

The funniest moment was when I used a mob penguin telephone. I was wondering whether it would have the old message and effect, or still the static. However, I got an entirely new and hilarious message! I laughed so hard that my coworkers looked funny.

I had used my piece of petrified time to smith pants. Nice to have those extra three adventures in hardcore.

Keypunch (#30036)
Level 9
Bullfrog Overseer
Turns Played (this run): 1,030
Days Played (this run): 57 -> No, 9, dammit, 9.

Picking up the Pieces

So, yup, I lost all my stuff. Let's hope the ticket gets dealt with soon.

Everyone got to repick their softcore skills. I had 3 Ascensions. I picked 3 trivial skills. One of them was actually legit. The other two...oh well. Softcore is not my thing anymore, so I afforded myself this liberty.

As for the adventuring, I lost day 9. The game is too laggy to play, so I smithed myself Time Pants, and I had fun with the Cola wars. I did have to get my frozen mushroom again. I'm just going to take it easy today and start moving towards speediness tomorrow.

The chats are reasonably well-behaved.

Community Modding

With the chats down, can I sit back and relax? Sipping margarita's while contemplating my possible losses and the damage to the Kingdom at large?

Hell, no! I've been conscripted by the Powers that Be to patrol that ultimate hive of scum and villainy called Kingdom Community.

So far, I would really like to exercise my newfound modding powers by merging this filk with this poem. Except, I, uh, don't know *how*.

The poem is too cool to lock, though, so I'm not going there. Although the thought of tossing it towards the Lair of Pretentious Artists amused me. Then again, art is a source of comfort in dire times such as these, so I'm leaving it and let one of the real mods take care of it, if necessary.

[update]
Muhahaha! I kicked this topic towards Random Ramblings. Should've edited some smart remarks in there, before doing so. Now it's in another forum and I can't edit it. I left a "shadow topic", in order that everyone can see how productive I'm being. Kind of like how I manage to hold on to my real job.

Faster than FEMA

The game is still out today, but the Asymmetric team is picking up the pieces.

Last night, I had trouble falling asleep, due to the events. Silly isn't it? Of course, our losses as Kingdom players are in no way comparable to what for example the Hurricane victims suffered. Yet our behaviour is. Anyway, I suddenly got an idea to help recovery and couldn't help getting on-line and getting attention for it. Apparently, some other people had the same idea and Jick has picked up on it.

"If somebody is in the situation where six weeks ago, they had nothing in Hagnk's, and now they have nothing in inventory, we can probably pretty safely dump their inventory from six weeks ago into Hagnk's and recover all but those six weeks' worth of items."

My suggestions was just to have everybody add their inventory to their Hagnk's on the 6th and restore from there. People that have taken stuff, while in Ronin, have most likely taken their most valuable stuff, almost per definition. By my mental tally, I also might have lost a Newbiesport Backpack and four Tiny Plastic Swords. I'll still have to see.

Other measures that are being taken.
* Reconstructing permanent skills. We can see how many times you've ascended (this is in the player table as well as in the ascension records,) so the skills we don't automatically regrant can be given out case-by-case.

Great thing, especially for those that have kept good records. If it has to be done manually, this could become a time-consuming affair. Then again, I have quite some time and will suffer no ill consequence, if I go hardcore again.

* Reconstructing entire inventories lost in Hagnk's. Up to the status of the inventory table on the 6th. This should solve most of the losses for the people who've played a long time and ascended for the first time since the 6th. Those people will get their 6th inventory dumped into Hagnk's.

I don't understand the qualifiers, but this is a good thing. Instead of losing all, people will be set back 6 weeks. Which is still an incredible lot, but at least you can recreate donation records for 6 weeks. And it's infinitely better than losing everything.

What won't be restored are the pirate hook and the traffic cone. Maybe the new content adresses that?

* Restoring, for the most part, any lost stainless steel or plexiglass items. Again, we've got solid counts on ascensions, so this will be fairly easy to verify.

That's a neat gesture. I like that. Of course, I would have gathered a full set again in due time, if only out of sheer stubborness.

Hurricane Jick

The damage

As near as we can tell, inventory, player data, flags, quest status, all the core stuff, that'll swing back to what it was last night, five hours after rollover. Some people lose a day, some people don't. Mall store inventory is still up-to-date, since that's on the secondary server, along with kmail and a bunch of other stuff that wouldn't have been a big deal to lose.

That's nice. I hadn't played my turns yet, so I'm all set for that.

"Chief among them: Hagnk's. Yeah. I know. Ouch. Basically, your items in ascension storage will revert back to what they were 6 weeks ago. Which is gonna do, for a lot of people, one of two things: If somebody had stuff there yesterday that wasn't there six weeks ago, it'll be gone. And if somebody had stuff in there six weeks ago that is now in their inventory, it'll basically be duped."

Reading my own blog, it's not 100% clear, but I seem to have been out of Ronin. Which makes it very very likely that I had no stuff at Hagnk's at the time. We'll see. Fuck. I'm also thinking it's very likely I lost that bottle of Champagne I got from tuttle freely. Double fuck.
Other Major damage: Wax Lips, Lucky Tam, Maypole, Jekyllin Hide Belt, 2 Ms. A and a Mr. A jr.
Medium damage: yeti protest sign, pirate hook, 3 traffic cones. Because I enjoyed the record of "being there". Also the Stainless Steel stuff.
Minor damage: Some penguin mobster stuff, bunch of grue eggs, stored quality food and booze. Less than one million meat.

"Also... and I know this is gonna hurt some people a lot, ascension records. We need to figure out what to do about this. A lot of the staff and dev team are in favor of a total reset on these, since they feel it'd be better than reversion. I'm open to suggestions from the community at large on how to handle it.

Last, but not least, some permanent skill data will be lost. We can reconstruct most of it. The worst case scenario will be the person who had a ton of softcore skills and was in Hardcore yesterday. Everybody else, we can reconstruct most, if not all of what was lost. "

I have a substantial number of softcore skills. And I was in hardcore yesterday, I'm not sure whether or not this applies to me. Probably means that only the skills that were currently visible in "skills" were saved. That would be...shit. Not that I planned to do a lot of softcoring and my hardcore skills are more dear, but still. I bid you a (premature?) farewell:
Torso Awaregness
Claws of the Walrus
Powers of Observatiogn
Leash of Linguini
Wisdom of the Elder Tortoises
Expert Panhandling
Gnefarious Pickpocketing
Hide of the Walrus
Spirit of Rigatoni
Gnomish Hardigness
Cosmic Ugnderstanding
Moxie of the Mariachi

Fuck.

Conclusion: If it is as bad as it sounds, the most damage-limiting option is to go Hardcore 4 Life. I wouldn't get any benefit that way from the donation items, anyway. I never was uber-wealthy anyway. I just enjoyed the fact that my seniority showed. I also won't miss the softcore skills that way.

Day 10: There is no day 10!

"Okay, so, I screwed something up. We're gonna take the game down until we can get it fixed. We're expecting it to probably be at least 24 hours.

Jick is very, very sorry about this."

Apparently there were some database errors and now this, and I have heard an unofficial quote that the database became "unresponsive". The very, very sorry part makes me very, very worried about this. From a piece of KoL history, those were the words that Pimonkey used to apologize for his deleting the entire item database.

I can only wait and see a) how big the damage is and if data was lost b) how fast the Kingdom comes back online c) what has changed by then.

Keypunch

Day 9: Over the Mountain, Past the Island, Into the Valley

As the title implies, I followed a linear path. Actually, the path was deterministic.
I adventured at the Goatlet, till I had six hunks of cheese and brought them to the tr4pz0r who gave me my new assignment. So, I had some eXtreme winter fun on the eXtreme slope, until I had the eXtreme cold-weather gear. With that the tr4pz0r was satisfied and I went to the Obligatory Pirate Cove to complete myself a Swashbuckling Getup. This was easily done. I had little faith in my chances fighting yeti, so I instead picked a fight with the Ninja Snowmen.

Upon reaching level 9, I quickly completed the Leaflet and spent just a few too many adventures getting an abridged dictionary in disguise. A quick visit with the untinker and I rolled into the Valley. Wearing penguin shorts and with the dictionary as weapon, I can dish out two hits, but suffer one hit in the process, about 12-24HP each. The HP increase and medicinal herbs really help here. I'm using Twitch, my Attention Deficit Demon, to help me gather the required scrolls for the 1337 h4xx0r quicker here. After I've summoned him, it's back to Grin Reaper, my Cheshire Bat.

I hope the lowercase n will also drop with prejudice.

On the side, I got a boris ring from the DD and have delivered a frozen mushroom to the mayor. She's named Madonna, as per a post a while ago.

Keypunch (#30036)
Level 9
Bullfrog Overseer
Turns Played (this run): 940
Days Played (this run): 9

Day 9&10&11: Decision Decisions Decisions

Plotwise, it's kind of easy from here on. I can follow the linear path, which roughly goes over the mountain, through the valley, up the beanstalk. Or, I can decide to do the Zapruder sidequest at any time. I'm not particularly tempted, though I might fit it in after the Valley.

What is of importance, are my dietary decisions. Do I go for more moxie, or purely for muscle. How do I acquire enough noodles? Are there any advanced mushroom foods I might like to eat? Do I eat reagents, or save them for potions?
With my crafting skills, I can eat 3 noodle dishes a day, at least. They generate 15-18 fullness. Which leaves 2-5 fullness.
The second level mushroom foods look interesting to fill that gap.
- cream of pointy mushroom soup (pointy mushroom & glass of goat's milk) 35-40 moxie, 2 fullness
- spicy mushroom quesadilla (warm mushroom & flat dough) 35-40 muscle, 3 fullness
- cool mushroom casserole (cool mushroom & gnollish casserole dish) 35-40 mysticality, 4 fullness

My plan for tomorrow is to both boost muscle and moxie through eating, without having to resort to farming, at all. Here's the possible menu's, but they might change on the chef's whim.

Le menu du Jour Neuf:
Appetizer: spicy mushroom quesadilla
Main Meal: double portion of fettucini Inconnu
Side dish: knob sausage chow mein

Le menu du Jour Dix:
Main Meal: double portion of knob sausage chow mein
Side dish: gnochetti di Nietschze
Dessert: cool mushroom casserole

Le menu du Jour Onze (c'est ridicule, c'est ne pas amusant):
Appetizer: double portion of cream of pointy mushroom soup
Main Meal: fettucini Inconnu & gnochetti di Nietschze
Dessert: cool mushroom casserole

Another aspect that has come up now with a muscle class is my weapon. In previous runs, the choice was easy: kentucky-fried crossbow and star crossbbow were the staples. This run, I realize that I'm topping out, power-wise, with a linoleum sword, while a kentucky-fried meatsword would give me extra muscle. Here are the weapons that will still be of interest at some point (in order of becoming available):
linoleum sword (100) - HP +20, already gotten
Kentucky-fried meat sword (80) - Muscle +7, smithable
drywall axe (150) - finish Rofl'Mao quest
ridiculously huge sword (140) - Melee Damage +10, drops in the airship.
giant discarded plastic fork (155) - Turn the Wheel at the castle.
star sword (165) - Muscle +8, available after some adventuring in HitS

As far as I can see it, I should have forged the kentucky-fried meat sword a while ago, but it will still be useful. The drywall axe will be neat until I get the ridiculously huge sword. I'm hard pushed to use the giant discarded plastic fork, but we'll see. If my initiative + muscle strategy keeps holding up at the high level, I'll be going star sword, ASAP.

Other equipment.
I'll smith the regular pieces of pants (penguin, furry) and bucklers (penguin skin or hippotamus) at the time.

I'm off to cook and have Innabox smith for me. And I might override this planning post any time soon.

Day 8: Mystical Burps

Today was Mysticality Day, which meant easy MP recovery. Which I used to my advantage by using Chronic Indigestion on basically any opponent.

The Daily Dungeon had no fight encounters and only yielded a jarlsberg earring, kinda disappointing. The Digital Key was quickly begotten. Fighting in the Cyrpt was tough. Especially if you don't take that stainless steel scarf off (made that mistake a couple of times). Luckily it was a clover day, and I used that to farm for spices. A diet of four chow meins a day makes me run low on noodles. I ate two bat wing, one rat appendix and one knob sausage chow mein. That's about a hundred adventures. Hurray!

After I got chrome ore from the mines, I wasn't moxious enough yet for a helmet turtle, but I realized I had to use the angry lihc face anyway, to stand a chance against the Bonerdagon. I slowly worked my way, chronically indigesting and ocassionally headbutting through the Cyrpt. After I had defeated all the sub-bosses, I finished the ore-mining part of the tr4pz0r quest. Whenever I was beat up, I spend my time with a stainless steel scarf at the Knob Goblin Kitchens with Twitch.

It was so difficult to decide, whether or not to take on the Bonerdagon. I decided to go for it. I even PvP'ed someone for a flower. Then I realized I had no more room for pie. Oh well. I used some candy from south of the border, slapped on some hairspray, fully healed both HP and MP, equipped my linoleum sword, put on the angry lihc face and charged in...

...and he got the jump on me. Ouch! I immediately unleashed my secret weapon. I had also sneakily obtained a couple of knob goblin stink bombs. The first was a direct hit :-). Then he hit me again. I held no bars and used my chronic indigestion and... Ryan, my dodecapede! A few rounds later, I was quite hurt, but the bonerdagon defeated triumphantly. With the usage of his chest, I could now wear my chrome helmet turtle and I put on the badass belt. Time to pick fights with goats.

I already have three pieces of cheese and need to think of a strategy for tomorrow. Time to put on my dead guy's watch and think.

Keypunch (#30036)
Level 8
Salamander Subduer
Turns Played (this run): 815
Days Played (this run): 8

Day 8: Preliminary Plans

For some reason, I bought Ghostly Shell on day 7, so I'm adding Tao of the Terrapin to the wishlist. Day 8 will bring the tr4pz0r quest. On mysticality stat day, no less.

My plan is to first keep the stainless steel scarf equipped and finish the pixelhunting. After that I can run the Daily Dungeon and tend my mushroom patch. I should have a frozen mushroom to bring to the mayor.

There is so much to do after that.
Quest list:
- "Bugbear" Quest. This side quest provides some nice rewards, but is on the tough side to pick up. Will net me spooky mushrooms and possibly useful equipment.
- Cyrpt Quest. Very tough quest, but mandatory for plot development. Only the final reward from the Bonerdagon is very much worth it. It's open whether I'm already able to defeat him
- Tr4pz0r Quest. Lots of lost adventures, if I go into the mines. Then again, a piece of chrome will give me the chrome ore needed for a kick-ass helmet. The goatlet will give the food stuff needed for Fettucini Inconnu.
- Food Farming. I need spices. I can do this via the spice loop, if available, or via kicking the crap out of knob goblin chefs.

Wishlist:
Meaty Helmet Turtle (1000 meat + 1 turn)
Tao of the Terrapin (7000 meat)

Final Plan:
Tend Mushroom Patch -> Daily Dungeon -> Get The Digital Key -> Fight in the Cyrpt till level 8 -> Begin tr4pz0r quest -> Get Chrome Ore -> Farm Food -> Continue Cyrpt -> Continue Tr4pz0r.

Looks solid enough.

Day 7: Chowing Down

I followed the plan and started off with some holidays. The fifth trip even gave me a barbed-wire fence. The hippies were surprisingly cooperative, as well. Then I accidentally thought that the basis for rat appendix chow mein was Knoll Stir fry. So, I ate two Knob Sausage Stir-Fry and a spicy jumping bean burrito.. What I was thinking, well I had been on the reagent food program for a while, so I hadn't correctly counted fullness.

Next up, I killed the Goblin King. The massive amount of hitpoints really gives the muscle class a chance. Healing up with Medicinal herbs makes it even more fun. I powered my way through the Copse of the Fat Friars and finally ate a rat appendix chow mein. I've planted some extra spooky spores, so I can eat some tomorrow as well.

The Daily Dungeon was almost forgotten, but not quite, so I got apathized and a Jarlsberg Key. Some tending to my mushroom plot was next. I'm hoping I did it right and was too lazy to look it up.

With all those ends tied up, I put on my stainless steel scarf and started hacking away at Pixel Creatures. I already have 4 potions, but I still need the Digital Key. I realized I had some stomach room left, when typing this up, so I made a shroomkabob (all I could do with no turns to farm for spices) and spent those extra 2 adventures pixelhunting as well.

Keypunch (#30036)
Level 7
Iguana Driver
Turns Played (this run): 664
Days Played (this run): 7

p.s. Bloody Innabox can't smith helmet turtles...
p.p.s I'm exactly one day behind schedule my previous Hardcore run, where I had spent 664 turns at the end of day 6, instead of day 7. Note that I also had a chow mein breakthrough there :-)

Day 7: Porpoiseful Pondering

One of the great thing about going TT again, is that I already have the skills I want. Saves me a lot of meat. Not being a moxie zodiac also prevents me from overspending. Which means I have a *really* short wishlist.

I should probably focus on boosting my moxie. I can't make Fettucini Inconnu yet, so I'll go for rat appendix chow mein. I'll spend the necessary meat to get Island Access and see how I fare with thwacking hippies. If I don't fare that well, I can use the Stainless Steel scarf to experiment from which low-level area I can get the best stats. The Bugbear Pens don't look unpromising, although I could check the Kitchens out. I also have the trivial affairs of farming mushrooms and running the Daily Dungeon to look after.

Wishlist:
Island Access (2500 + 15 adventures)
Meaty Helmet Turtle (1000 + 1 adventure)

Day 6: Indescribable

What I did today, I can mostly not remember. I think I got a barskin tent. And I can use my stainless steel. I really need some planning posts going, because this won't do. Did reach level 7, though.

Keypunch (#30036)
Level 7
Iguana Driver
Turns Played (this run): 532
Days Played (this run): 6

Day 5: Filling the Campground

I mostly wasted adventures today. Not in a real mood to make speed. I did reach level 6. I also got a clockwork maid and chef in the box done for the campground and pruned my mushroom field. I hope I haven't screwed up and still can get the frozen mushroom.

I also unlocked the guild and got the Amphibian Sympathy skill.

Can you tell I adventured this day real-life hungover?

Turns Played (this run): 428
Days Played (this run): 5
Keypunch (#30036)
Level 6
Frog Boss

Day 4: Breakthroughs

I have had three breakthroughs actually.

a) I cured myself, at least for now.
b) I have a mushroom patch and planted a lot of mushrooms
c) I got to eat reagent food

Although I wasted about a dozen turns on the Cure, being able to combine Knob Sausage with scrumptious reagent and dry noodles for Spaghetti with Skullheads really saved my day.

What's less edifying is the collection of utterly useless accessories I have gathered. Here's an overview
Totally useless: big red clown nose, continuum transfunctioner, rose-colored glasses
Mostly useless: acid-squirting flower, clown shoes, dirty hobo gloves
Useful: shiny ring
unequippable: stainless steel scarf

In more hilarious news: One adventure at the bugbear pens gave me the annoying pitchfork. Which item is more ideal to outfit my Attention-Deficit Demon with? *grin*

Keypunch (#30036)
Level 5
Newt Herder
Turns Played (this run): 333
Days Played (this run): 4

The Plague

Okay, so now, deus ex machina there is a cure. It takes a little doing, even at lower level, but there is a cure.

But of course, there are people that want to keep the disease. Which is somewhat funny in a way. But also annoying. Why? Because the gag of "The Gray Plague" has really run out a bit.

a) It's taken over chat in more than one way. Half of the posts in chats are now "I want to be infected" "How do you get infected" "How do you get cured". It has been like this for a few days and it gets tiresome. It's also one more thing to explain to newbies, which gives them a new step on the learning curve, which actually doesn't contribute to their gameplay

b) The mechanics are unclear. Except for the strong possibility that it "spreads through chat", there is no clear idea how the effect spreads. The lack of control over it makes it an annoyance, rather than exciting. Due to the uncontrolled nature of the chat environment, there is little way to figure it out, either.

c) People are using scripts to ignore the chat effect. When people start to use scripts, en masse, to ignore a game effect, the end of its funniness is literally determined by Choice of the People.

Personally, I'm sick of the plague. It's a joke that has gotten out of control and really is starting to hinder my enjoyment of the game in general and chat (which is a large part of the game) in particular.

Day 3: Learning Curve

So, with the new sign, I am figuring things out that I had forgotten about this sign. All of which that could have made my life earlier. So, first I discovered the Bakery. And today I remembered the Plunger Guy. And Innabox. I could have been combining and meatsithing without expending meat or turns.

I finished all the quests up to level 4 however, including the Nemesis. Used my dodecapede to lay the smackdown on the Boss Bat. I did get myself beaten up way too much at the beanbats. In the end, I ate one insanely spicy enchanted bean burrito's, two regularly spiced, two bowls of cottage cheese and two mugcakes.

In other news, Doc Galactik has some "heal to full HP/MP" buttons, which cost some extra meat, but detract from lag, I suppose. I've been hitting them for just that. Also, there is a cure for the Gray Chat Disease, but it requires access to the Yeti area.

Keypunch (#30036)
Level 4
Gecko Supervisor
Turns Played (this run): 232
Days Played (this run): 3

Day 2: Mugcake Stuffing

Today, I'm saving adventures for tomorrow. So I ate a spooky shroomkabob and thirteen mugcakes. Yum.

Keypunch (#30036)
Level 3
Frog Director
Turns Played (this run): 107
Days Played (this run): 2

Day 1: Mugcake update!

I r teh stupid.

I had 5 gemstones to sell, but was wondering what to spend the meat on. Then I realized: mugcake! Also, the DeGrassi Knoll has a bakery! So, eleven mugcakes and also one skewered spooky shroom later, I had thirteen more adventures in the Spooky Forest. I'm still level 3, but I've gotten at least a few more valuable stat points.

Keypunch (#30036)
Level 3
Frog Director
Turns Played (this run): 95
Days Played (this run): 1

Day 1: Teetotal Turtle Tamer

T^4.

Well, this is going to be interesting. In time-honoured tradition, I wasted the first day. I do own sticky meat pants and had fun with the renewed Typical Tavern Quest. I'm surprised at the lack of edible stuff you find in the lower-level area's. I've eaten some cottage cheese and that is it.

I also haven't gained enough stats to equip my shiny ring. Probably because I fought less rats than usual.

Keypunch (#30036)
Level 3
Frog Director
Turns Played (this run): 82*
Days Played (this run): 1

*Revised later: see next post

Day 11: Mad Dash!

I did everything as preplanned. I munched on the quality foods, including the freshly farmed rat appendix dish. Then I adventured a bit more in the Giant Castle with Twitch and got the wolf mask and turned the wheel to Moxiousness. So, I took the plunge, and with Orangish Aphrodisiac potions I could easily deal with the monsters in the Hole-in-the-Sky.

The only one that needed some magical putting in place was the Astronomer.

I reached level 11 and it was on to the Lair. I still didn't have enough moxie to wear the Star Crossbow. Luckily, a few adventures in the Castle gave me the stat adventure. I worked my way up the lair and found out I didn't have a protophotoneutron torpedo, nor frigid ninja stars. The torpedo took some adventuring, but it gave me also some meat and healing bonus. At the top, I still lacked a moxie-point, so I spent about 8 adventures training for that with Snirf, the world's sneakiest gnome.

The challenges from the Tower Room went fine, except I was running low on adventures and meat. A yard sale from inventory and a few IPA from the Microbrewery provided relief and I levelled up the two familiars in record time (thanks to Xylpher.

For the battle itself, I really had to dig into autoselling my inventory and confronted her with my dodecapede, two kickback cookbooks, flaming talons, furry pants, wand of nagamar, goth kid shirt, wolf mask. Of course I also had the assorted stuff to throw (plot holes) and heal (Doc Galactik Homeopathic Elixir). I defeated her on the first run, and was pleased with her low blocking rate. Although she had way more hitpoints than I cared for. And Ryan wasn't very active either.

After the defeat, I celebrated with a few white canadians, untinkered my meat car, put a tiny plastic sauceror in the museum, unpacked my gifts and jumped into the gash.

Keypunch (#30036)
Ascended as: Level 11 Sauceror, hardcore, no path, under the Packrat sign in 1361 turns, spread out over 11 days.

Day 11: Potion Planning

The only statistic that needs significant raising, before I'm ready to face the Naughty Sorceress is my moxie. So, food and boozewise, I'm pretty much decided tomorrow. I already have a Fettucini Inconnu and Pr0n M4nnic0tti. I will adventure first for a rat appendix and have rat appendix chow mein as well. Boozewise I still have a whiskey sour and whiskey and cola left, the rest will be filled up with IPA, specials, and perhaps a bottle of fine wine.

From the Giants, I still need a wolf mask (has the drop rate on that sunk, or what?). And I need to fight in the Hole-in-the-Sky. With tomorrows harvest added, I have 8 scrumptious reagents. Which is enough for 8 potions.

The potions of most interest are:
Orangish Aphrodisiac, +100% to moxie, (reagent + orange)
Tomato Smoothie, moxie equal to base myst (reagent + tomato)
Grapefruit Juice of Powerful Power, +50% to all stats (reagent + grapefruit)

So, I'll have 40 turns of potion boost. Distributed over these effects in parts of 5. At first, I'll conservatively try to see if an Orangish Aphrodisiac is enough to survive the Hole. If it is not, I'll add a Tomato Smoothie to the mix.

I can visit with the Fantasy Airship, if need be, to raise funds. There is the danger of overstatting, so I might choose to adventure with Twitch, my attention-deficit demon, instead of my Cheshire Bat.

Plan d'attaque:
Farm for a rat appendix. Eat various foods and pre-mixed drinks. Adventure in the castle for a wheelturn to moxie and wolf mask for, say, 20 turns. Use orangish aphrodisiac and try my luck in the Hole. If it doesn't succeed, I add the tomato smoothie.

If I have all the starry stuff and turns left, I can start fighting the Lair.

Day 10: Spicy!

After eating two Gnocchetti di Nietschze and a spicy enchanted bean burrito, the party started. A Jarlsberg key from the Daily Dungeon! Then I cleared the Cyrpt of minibosses and reached level 9. So, I used the Leaflet tricks and stormed into the Valley of Rofl'Mao. The 31337 h4x0r was summoned, the Baron was helped. The Bonerdagon was next and easily taken out, my stats were boosted pretty fine.

The meat dissappeared into skills and cookbooks faster that I had imagined. Still, fighting the Yeti provided me with a new ample source of meat.

With a decent amount of adventures left, it was time to say goodbye to the Yeti (So Long And Thanks For All The Furs), and run into the Castle. The Immateria dropped reasonably fast and it was Castle Time.

Here, for the first time, I noticed I had a somewhat lacking amount of moxie. I chose a initiative + cookbook strategy, but would get wiped when I didn't get the jump, because of low moxie. It was a bit of a battle of attrition, with constant HP/MP recovery, the odd beat-up and running away. Statwise, I got a *lot* of Mysticality points and the wheel is now in "Backdoor" position. One more turn clockwise, and I'll get the Moxie-boosting adventures.

All I have to do is get three star charts and my penetration of the Lair can begin. Boozewise, I had a good time, drinking both eggnog, but also "Whiskey and cola". It boosts both mysticality and moxie and recovers you some MP on top of that as well. Tomorrow, it'll be back to IPA and/or the special, I fear.

Keypunch (#30036)
Level 10
Coriander Conjurer
Turns Played (this run): 1,231
Days Played (this run): 10

Day 9: The Pox

I didn't quite save up 150 adventures, but a good 100 ain't bad either. The cranny part of the Crypt is cleared, with 3 ghuol eggs in my possession. I got two bottles of rum, getting the eyepatch. So that's at least 2 eggnogs tomorrow. And worth it to get the fourth.

The Daily Dungeon yielded another Sneaky Pete's Key.

Tomorrow I can wrap a lot of stuff up, as long as I focus on the Myst. My booze will be whiskey & soda and eggnog. For food, I can go for gnocchetti di Nietzsche. That will be easy if it's clover day with grab bags. I should have taken advantage of it today, but I forget and am too drunk now. I also shouldn't forget to adventure with hairspray tomorrow.

But, yeah, the disease is getting worse. People are turning gray in chat. I'm not that ill, just yet.

Keypunch (#30036)
Level 8
Oreganoccultist
Turns Played (this run): 973
Days Played (this run): 9

Day 9&10: Here are some plans I prepared earlier

Tomorrow, I want to save adventures, so I can make a big rush on Mysticality Day (Day 10).

I already have prepared two Fettucini Inconnu. I will supplement them with a spicy enchanted bean burrito (need: wad of dough).

I do need to run the Daily Dungeon, but it would be cool to have a cool 150 adventures saved. If I have extra adventures I can spend them at the Cyrpt, with the ghuols. Neat to have Ghuol eggs for eggnog. For meat, I could visit the Pirates 'till I have the full Swashbuckling Getup, and after that, the Goatlet for the pure, fast, meat gains.

Adventure-list: Cyrpt.
Farmlist: barbed-wire fence, frigid Ninjastars
Wishlist:
Gnome Skills (2x5000)
Sauce Salve (2000)
Wave of Sauce (8000)
Kickback Cookbook (4000)
Spices (130 + 1 turn/each)
Infinitesimal IPA (about 700)

Day 10:
I need to finish the Cyrpt. Use the bonerdagon chest. Reach level 9, plugh the leaflet, get the dictionary, storm into the valley, summon the 31337 h4xx0r and help the baron. Maybe there's time left for the Airship, but I'm afraid it will be mostly be Yeti doing the suffering.
Additions to farmlist: meat vortex, lowercase n (x2).
Addition to wishlist: Intrinsic Spiciness (9000)

Day 8: Scrumptious Adventuring

It was a struggle through the mines, but I was able to just the things I wanted to do. I got the Attention Spanner for Twitch, I got the disease and a spider web for the backfarming queue. I fished the sewer for some extra trinkets (which are now stored as clovers in my closet) and spices.

After that, the Goatlet. With hair spray, I was moxious enough to take it on. I really kicked ass there, getting the ingredients for one Fettucini Inconnu (meals of the day: Fettucini Inconnu, Bat Wing Chow Mein, spicy bean burrito, hot wing) and later making progress with the Quest itself. With the Eggstortionary effect in place, meatmaking really went well. So, I could afford Elemental Saucesphere. Which helped me complete the tr4pz0r quest and soon I could afford Saucestorm as well. And I smithed a chrome helmet turtle. And a penguinskin buckler. And a penguinskin mini-skirt. I thought the helmet turtle and skirt were 40 moxie to wear, turned out it was 45. No worries, I'm only a few substats away at the end of the day.

More turns were spent at the Obligatory Pirate Cove, to pre-emptively gather the Swashbuckling Get-up. I didn't get the full outfit, but I did get a guitarrr. And rum.

I suddenly noticed that I hadn't done the Dungeon yet, and was running low on adventures...too low. Again I had a lucky break, as the Bounty Hunter accepted yeti fur. I sold him the unused yeti fur from the tr4pz0r and bought a cocktailcrafting kit. Rum + spices = spiced rum. I'm the proud owner of a Boris Ring now. But I won't let that ruin such a fantastic day.

Keypunch (#30036)
Level 8
Oreganoccultist
Turns Played (this run): 939
Days Played (this run): 8

Note: IPA is now officially my number two favourite drink.

Day 8: Scrumptious Planning

So, I now have the scrumptiousness. It allows for the second-best foods, after chow mein. Also, for reagent potions, which I need to study a bit.

The scrumptious noodle foods are:
Spaghetti with Skullheads, with knob sausage for Muscle
Gnochetti di Nietschze, with knob mushroom for Mysticality
Fettucini Inconnu, with goat cheese for Moxie
If I ever get a knob mushroom, it seems to be easily worth it to farm for a bat wing, and have chow mein instead. Knob sausage is more easily farmed and makes for a promising dish. Goat cheese is truly in easy supply, if somewhat late in the game. So I see Fettucini becoming a new staple favourite for the endgame.

The plan for tomorrow is straightforward:
Run the Daily Dungeon for that final %$#% key. Waste time getting caved in upon. After that I'm a bit stuck between a rock and a hard place. The Orcs and Goats out-moxie me. The monsters in the Cyrpt are in my league, but I don't want to get my ass kicked by the mini-bosses. I could spend extra time not in disguise at the mine. The meat is good, especially now I have Eggstortionary tactics from the Oyster Eggs.
I'm actually making progress with that wishlist. Once I get the high-level damage skill, or a cookbook, I can start abandoning the moxie-path.

Things to do while beaten up from mining:
sewerfishing
back farming for disease or spider web
leveling up Twitch (Attention-Deficit Demon)
Knob Goblin Treasury

Wishlist:
Gnome Skills (2x5000)
Other Guild Skills (2000+4000+6000)
Kickback Cookbook (4000)
Cocktailcrafting kit (1000)
Spices (130 + 1 turn/each)
Infinitesimal IPA (about 700)
Familiar Item (600 + 6 turns)
Meaty Helmet Turtle (1000 + 1 turn)

Special Backfarming Notice:
spider web, barbed-wire fence, disease.

Day 7: Egged!

Today was Oyster Egg Day. Which was a pleasant surprise. And Bashy's birthday. Hurray for our lovely fetus-basher.

At first, I was worried a bit about the lag, but later in my day, it got reasonably playable. I did equip an oyster egg basket and collected some useful eggs. I used a plastic combat egg to kick the Goblin King.

As for stuff done: The Daily Dungeon gave me an extra Boris Key...blast. I did finish the Fat Friars, so I could spoil my liver with some extra IPA and even had two of the special (Lumbering Jack). As stated above, the Goblin King kicked his bucket. The first Cyrpt mini-boss I ran into was too strong. But I was close to level 8, anyway. Especially after I bought Advanced Saucecrafting and had the most delicious meal (In the end, Spaghetti-with-Skullheads, Bat Wing Chow mein, knob sausage pizza and a hot wing). It's really fun to cook.

I couldn't help myself trying to mine a bit, already. Which meant a couple of cave-ins. I have one linoleum ore, so it's a start. I also had enough meat to buy Powers of Observatiogn and am quickly starting to gain enough meat for another skill.

Keypunch (#30036)
Level 8
Oreganoccultist
Turns Played (this run): 800
Days Played (this run): 7

Day 6: Cough!

There are some things I forgot to put in my Day 6 wrap-up. And if it had just been the fact that I have evil arches in my campground (and also a beanbag chair), then I'd have edited.

But no. I -cough-'ed. I'm hoping that this won't affect my ascending in a bad way. Although I do hope it's a developing storyline.

Day 7: Lengthy Preponderance

After 6 days of Hardcore Goodness, I can note two things. One, I'm slower than my previous hardcore run. Two, I'm faster than my other hardcore runs. The boost you get from having an initial item, even if it's just a single bottle of single-barrel whiskey really makes a lot of difference, as you can skip a lot of wasteful adventuring in the lowest level area's.

That said, time for a lengthy post and review of things to do.

Do List:
-Daily Dungeon.
I still need that Jarslberg Key, so I'll be stuck spending 8 adventures here.
Difficulty: Trivial, Priority: Mandatory

-Goblin King
He ain't dead yet. All I need is some extra perfume and he's a gonner. I could use the rewards.
Difficulty: Ease, Priority: Medium

-Fat Friars
They need help. And I want that liver. I should make sure to pick up a Ruby W and wussiness potion in the Dark Neck, though.
Difficulty: Medium, Priority: Very High

-Cyrpt Quest
The Cyrpt needs cleaning. I stand a good chance with the minibosses, but am probably not able to take on the Bonerdagon. The rewards would be neat, but probably better saved for the upcoming Mysticality day.
Difficulty: High, Priority: Low

-Tr4pz0r
He's going to send a cry for help soon. In fact, when I reach level eight. I've got good hopes that can happen tomorrow. Making a start with gathering a Mining Outfit would be nice. My best bet is to spend actual turns mining only when Muscle Day is over.
Difficulty: High, Priority: Optional

-Food
My best bet for food is to save up meat tomorrow and get the Advanced Saucecrafting Skill. I can then farm the kitchens for knob sausage (or knob mushroom) and eat 2 reagent noodle dishes, with a spicy enchanted bean burrito on the side. Alternatively, if I have no time to farm, I could make hell ramen with hellion cubes dropped at the Dark Neck.
Difficulty: Medium, Priority: High

-Booze
If I can spare the meat, I could get a cocktailcrafting kit. I'll probably stumble across booze at the Obligatory Pirate Cove and Goatlet in the coming days. The rum could make good eggnog, and the whiskey could be put to good use. Being able to drink fermented drinks, instead of beer, to maximize drunkenness are a beneficiary side-effect.
Difficulty: Low, Priority: Low

-Backfarming
The list of stuff I've yet to gather: spider web, barbed-wire fence, disease.
Only the barbed-wire fence represent major screwage. I might deliberately farm for it on the next moxie day, however.
Difficulty: Low, Priority: Dubious.

There, with all those quests, there's of course still the wishlist left.

Wishlist:
Advanced Saucecrafting Skill (5000)
Gnome Skills (3x5000)
Other Guild Skills (2000+4000+6000)
Kickback Cookbook (4000)
Cocktailcrafting kit (1000)
Spices (130 + 1 turn/each)
Infinitesimal IPA (about 700)
Familiar Item (1000 + 10 turns)
Meaty Helmet Turtle (1000 + 1 turn)

And all of this should lead to some plan for Day 7 (at least).
Plan:
To keep it simple, I can make it chronological. First I hack my way through the Daily Dungeon. Then I complete the Friar's. I kick the Goblin King in the nuts. I focus on Booze and Food. After that, I can probably find the time to clear the Cyrpt a little.
I might need to focus on boozing and food a bit earlier than planned, but it should present little obstacle.

Except for Advanced Saucecrafting, I expect little substantial to be done about the Wishlist.

Day 6: Chowing Mein

Today, everything seemed like a struggle. But a fun struggle. And I moved forward in the struggling. The most dissapointing thing was that the Daily Dungeon, after a lot of struggling, gave me another Sneaky Pete's Key. Yay?

This struggling provided me with 4 red pixel potions and a digital key.

The Goblin King proved too much of a struggle and he beat me up. I was very close, though. Next time I'll nab him. I landed myself another Skill (Expert Panhandling) and also managed to get access to the Hippy Camp Store. So, I'm now the owner of a Kentucky Fried Meat Crossbow. And, I could eat chow mein. Bat Wing Chow Mein and a Knob Sausage Chow Mein. Delicious spicy noodles as side dish. And herb brownies (!) for dessert.

Boozewise, I've been attempting to get myself the liver, but after a lot of turns, I only had a box of birthday candles. So, it turned out to be a boring all-IPA day at the Microbrewery.

Time to plan for day 7. For there is quite some planning to be done.

Keypunch (#30036)
Level 7
Tarragon Thaumaturge
Turns Played (this run): 664
Days Played (this run): 6

Day 5: Home-made Noodles

All went pretty much on-a-roll today. I got the skulls relatively fast. The Daily Dungeon delivered Sneaky Pete's Breath Spray. The boss bat got whacked (took me two turns, though). My Cheshire Bat is sporting a sharpened smile due to his stone. I got access to the Island. And I already have 2 out of 4 red pixel potions and half the white pixels for a Digital Key.

The most interesting observation of the day was that I was practically forced to switch to a crossbow after getting the Breath Spray. I had the "unhittable" yet not able to hit anything myself vibe going in the Knob Goblin Treasury. Another matter of note is that I even managed to get an entire Elite Guard Uniform from adventuring there. Fear my stinkbombs, Sorceress!

I have no adventures saved for tomorrow's stat day, but it should still be a lot of turns. And, what do you know, I just made level 7 with my last handful of turns. Always looks nice in the statistics department.

Keypunch (#30036)
Level 7
Tarragon Thaumaturge
Turns Played (this run): 530
Days Played (this run): 5

Day 4: Wasted Chefs

Today started good with a Boris Key from the Daily Dungeon. And it would've been a good day, with clovers from the hermit and two disembodied brains from Fernswarthy's Tower. And chronic indigestion from an insanely spicy enchanted bean burrito. And a decent amount of meat from the better adventure area's. And dry martini's at the Microbrewery.

Except for the lack of Chef's Hat. Close to all of my adventures were spent adventuring there. Which meant I lacked ingredients to make noodletype dishes. I also lacked meat. Which meant I had to resort to eating bowls of cottage cheese. I did manage to chomp some straight-forward spicy noodles, but that was it. No spicerunning possible. I got my bloody Attention Deficit Demon up to 47 kills. And mind you, not every adventure at the outskirts is a combat encounter. I did take him to a few others spaces (I had some hopes of getting a tomato (for boring spaghetti), before I ran out of adventures to cook. It was not to be.

In one of the very last adventures, after eating the low-quality food, I finally did net my hat. I'll break about even, adventurewise. It's just frustating, though. Luckily, I'm not on a speedrun. Because I still need to get that smart skull, as well.

Keypunch (#30036)
Level 6
Thyme Wizard
Turns Played (this run): 423
Days Played (this run): 4

Day 4&5: Dead Pixel Deliberations

Reading my previous post, the debate is obviously: Save adventures, yes or no?

Seeing as how muscle is really less important to me than mysticality and moxie, and the Castle Wheel starts on muscle...I'm tempted to adventure. I'm also not that concerned with speed. Or I'd have taken an softcore oxy run before this one. All I want to do is collect all the shiny (two tattoo, stainless steel, Advanced Saucecrafting skill) from this run in a decent time.

I've got a couple of goals, but I won't be comfy with any of them until I reach about 30 moxie (unbuffed). Also, I'm in need of a better meat-flow.

Which leads me to the following goals for the next two days:
- Daily Dungeon. I need two more keys, and won't complain when I get a Sneaky Pete's Breathspray instead.
- Treasury Access. In the treasury, I can adventure for oodles and oodles of meat to pay for all the Wishlist stuff.
- Pixels. I should do the whole 8-bit realm for the key and red pixel potions.
- Campground. I need two brains and two skulls, to make a meat maid and a chef.
- Bosses. I should be able to have a go at both the bossbat and the Goblin King. In the latter case, I might focus a bit more on just gathering stuff.
- Friar's Quest. This might wait for day 6, instead, but being able to drink more is always nice.

The exact plan is sadly unclear to me, so I'll just muddle along both days and hope no to forget to do the DD, while I accomplish as many of above goals as possible. No planning update 'till the one for day 6, anway.

Day 3: Return of the Attack of the Spicy Enchanted Bean Burrito

I got some of the cheaper things of the wishlist done, but today was mostly still about building stats. Tomorrow is the day to get some brains and skulls for campground items (also still need a chef's hat), but also to start saving adventures for the upcoming stat day. (Day 6 is Muscle Day).

Today I ate spicy enchanted bean burrito's (has the drop rate on enchanted bean burrito's been lowered, or what? I used the Attention-Deficit Demon to farm them. He's cuuuuute. I got my meat car together and drank extra-spicy bloody mary's at the Microbrewery. Furthermore I smithed the sticky meat pants at the very end of the day. I even got a couple of turns at the Arena done. I could simply "go" for it tomorrow.

I did get my first run at the Daily Dungeon completed. I should try that too, tomorrow. A Sneaky Pete's Key owner is me!

Keypunch (#30036)
Level 6
Thyme Wizard
Turns Played (this run): 307
Days Played (this run): 3

Wishlist:
Familiar Item (about 200 + 2 turns)
Meat Maid (accidentally autosold cog and sprockets, need brain and skull too)
Island Access (3000 + 18 turns)
Meaty Helmet Turtle (1000 + 1 turn)
Guild Skills (2000+3000+4000+5000+6000)
Gnome Skills (3x5000)
Infinitesimal IPA (about 500)
Cocktailcrafting kit (1000)
Spices (130 + 1 turn/each)
Kickback Cookbook (4000)

Wishlist

Note, most things on this wishlist, I'll not get for several days. They are in no particular order:

Tenderizing Hammer (1000)
Familiar Item (about 400 + 4 turns)
Sticky Meat Pants (100 for the kit)
Meat Maid (100 for the stack + 50 for the paste)
Meat Car (100 for the stack + 50 for the paste)
Island Access (3000 + 18 turns)
Meaty Helmet Turtle (1000 + 1 turn)
Guild Skills (2000+3000+4000+5000)
Gnome Skills (3x5000)
Infinitesimal IPA (about 500)
Cocktailcrafting kit (1000)
Spices (130 + 1 turn/each)

Day 2: Rats

Things were'nt developing as fast as I had hoped in the previous post. I spent quite some time developing my stats. It really helps to even have that single boost from a pathed softcore run. Being able to eat boring spaghetti (3 of them), was okayish compensation.

I beat the rats and spent my meat on buying Stream of Sauce, the first offensive spell. I should also get a tenderizing hammer relatively quickly. And the other skills, most notably, reagent crafting. I did spend meat on the Arena, I hope to use the tenth win for the Cheshire Bitten familiar item.

I also opened up the bossbat, but don't dare confront him, yet. I am, however, able to take on beanbats, really at the end of today's adventuring, so I can eat burrito's tomorrow, if there are spices. Tomorrow, I can also focus on getting the car and meat maid.

I'm noticing how relatively fast I've gained levels and items, but how scarce meat is. Expert panhandling and the smile-sharpening stone will help. Maybe get gnefarious pickpocketing too. After all, this run is more about comfort than speed to me. I started it on a whim, and don't want the frustrations of last time. I think I'll skip a planning post for day three as well. We'll just see how it goes. Maybe just stick to a smallish wishlist.

Keypunch (#30036)
Level 5
Rosemary Diviner
Turns Played (this run): 185
Days Played (this run): 2

Day 2: Gearing up

Let's make one thing clear. This beginning phase is tough. Sauceror getting beat up by rats, and little I can do about it.

My first priority might be to improve my gear. I started off with an all-demon market outfit. At least I got the dolphin map, but I could also adventure in the backalley and outskirts of Cobb's Knob to get Dr. Hobo's scalpel and the Slug Lord's pants.

After all, I need to be in the backalley anyway, for spider webs, so I can make sticky meat pants, and an asshat.

I could, when that's all done, see if I can pass a challenge from the Guild. I'd like access to spells and MMJ as soon as possible.

Of course, getting a meat car, so I can drink IPA (or better) is another priority, but that might prove too tough for tomorrow. We'll see.

Food of choice might be burrito's, so that I can save up the noodles for another day.

Day 1: Saucy

Not really having a plan on how to ascend and also wanting to escape the straitjacket of the predictable, I ascended to Hardcore Oxygenarian Sauceror (Female). Packrat sign.

I adventured hither, I adventured tither. Then I was able to have 10 MP and dropped the Oxygenarian part to cook up dry noodles with tomato and spices. Hurray for boring spaghetti and spicy noodles! An attempt to beat up rats, resulted in being succesful in being beaten up by rats. So I sewered, and saved the adventures for tomorrow. Myst day.

This is going to be a longer ascension (or maybe followed by another hardcore), so I pulled two Mr. A to buy the Attention-Deficit Demon. He's soooo cute! Shiny.

Mmm, yeah. Not much more to tell. No new tattoo's, although I did keep the Moxie of the Mariachi Skill. So that's 1/6 right there for that Trophy. And oh yeah, unlocked the Solid Chrome Box from the Gift Shop. Like I'll really send anything in such an expensive package soon.

Keypunch (#30036)
Level 3
Parsley Enchanter
Turns Played (this run): 38
Days Played (this run): 1

Hole in the Head

Ascending was standard fare, if not even boring.

I slapped Yeti's on the head, donated all their meat to the hall, ran through the castle, spun with the wheel. I ended up deciding to get the final stats in the Hole, instead of the Castle.

Having gotten out of Ronin, I had fun with the Doppelshifter at the hedge maze and tower. I even got one of the two new permanent Mr. Store familiars and decided I had to have that one.

The Naughty Sorceress took me two tries, oddly. I hadn't been paying attention all too well to the fight, out of sheer jadedness. The second try, I took her down, no prob.

I put another Tiny Plastic Figurine into the Display case, spent my remaining turns chopping up Yeti for big meat, untinkered the meat car and slugged down a White Canadian.

Time to ascend.

Sneaky Pete!

And finally, it's there.

Although. I'm glad that I've made it a habit to the read the forums before adventuring, to see if anything has changed overnight. Apparently, during the first part post roll-over, the Sneaky Pete Stupor adventures hadn't been implemented yet. Nor was it a clover day. I was well-prepared enough to have had no trouble with the latter, but the former was just lame. Especially considering there already were some minor problems and code migration issues during the previous time Sneaky Pete's day was supposed to happen, this was just plain sloppy.

Also, there was rumour about the Mr. Store familiars being replaced today. That hasn't happened. Nor has the Jekyllin Hide belt been taken from it. Maybe that's happening tomorrow, though.

Anyway, I had decided to adventure the roll-over and eating adventures like regular and use the boozing adventures for celebration. Pulling clovers, TPS ingredients and chow mein was a drain on available pulls, but then I didn't need many pulls. I reached level 8 in a jiffy, had surprisingly few cave-ins at the mine and was through the Goatlet without resistance. Since I hadn't gotten any Ninja Hot Pants from the Friar's Gate Quest, I settled on eXtreme Cold-Weather Gear. After which I started to smack up Yeti.

Only after my boosted moxie reached 125 (madrigal, moxie of the mariachi, kentucky-fried meat crossbow, two Mr. A and hairspray help a lot), was I safe from them. Although I could easily heal the damage they did in combat and gained a shitload of meat (Panhandling, Nimble Fingers, Pickpocketigng and a 35pound Cheshire Bat tend to help with that). I did reach level 9 and adventured at the Valley of Rofl'mao. Hurray for the Leaflet as well.

Then came the time to drink. Three dirty martini's, for old time's sake, followed by a green beer. Over the threshold with another dirty martini. Five more green beers for good measure and complete and utter stupor. I pulled a soggy wofl shirt, slapped on a safarrri hat, swung on swashbuckling pants, adorned myself with a pine-fresh airfreshener, stuffed shoulder parrot and a sk8board, armed myself with a tiny plastic sword and was off to do stupid stuff.

I didn't see any new adventures, I think, although I laughed my ass off at the first one "Reach out and offend someone". I also think that "What Is This, Some Kind of Joke?", is hilarious. I managed to land 3 cheap plastic bottle openers, one of which I equipped and I also got the "To the Rescue!" adventure, which is supposedly the one that will land me a traffic cone.

With all that said and done, I had lost enough stats, hit points and dignity. In honour of the celebration I put on my "Beer Can" tattoo, and kept a Sneaky Pete type outfit for rollover. Let's see if we can come close to ascending with that huge hangover tomorrow.

El Mariachi

With all the frustration of not having that wolf mask drop in the past two days, I was glad to jump into softcore. Accordion Thief and no path.

Pulling 3 rat appendix chow meins and the Mr. Family, I superspeeded through the game. I even forgot about the Super-Secret Device for the first 43 turns. Eeep. Silly.

I rushed through the game at an amazing speed. In fact, I spent most of my time on the various levels of the Menagerie, settling on level 3, because no tougher places would open up, till I reached the next level. This has the advantage of having me loaded with booze. The closest fight I had was versus the Bonerdagon, but even he succumbed to my might. I ended up deep into level 7.

I have the full laundry list of backfarming to do, once I meet the sorceress, but I was mostly simply preparing for tomorrow. Will it finally be Sneaky Pete Day?

I had been a bit liberal with my pulls, meaning that I couldn't get the imitation nice watch and tiny bitching meat car (nor a maid). But then again, I think this will be a no-brainer four-dayer and three-dayer with a bit of luck. I don't particularly need that handful of extra adventures. My last pull was a chrome crossbow, nonetheless. And the piece of shiny stainless steel also gives me two bonus adventures.

And oh yeah: Two shiny tattoo's!

[edit]

Heh, forgot another thing, guild skills! Pah. Who needs 'em anyway?

Day 11: Naughty Sorceress Unmasked

Two main themes today.

Lack of meat.
Lack of mask.

The wolf mask simply wouldn't drop. And adventuring for it was expensive. So, I attempted the sorceress without a mask. Got defeated by the first incarnation.

So I tried again. Got very far, but eventually defeated by the second incarnation.

Which meant I was broke. Adventuring a bit and autoselling stuff meant that I could try for a third time. Which failed on the second incarnation.

By this time, I had autosold my cookback for meat. I had autosold my tenderizing hammer. I had used my filthy knitted dreadsack for a beanbag chair, to cheaply prepare MP for a run on the Sorceress. I was desperate. I was fully drunk as well. All my attempts at getting a wolf mask to drop had failed. In about 40 adventures, I met two furry giants, one of whom dropped a furry fur. The other dropped a disturbing fanfic.

I was about to give up, when I realized I hadn't eaten. Nor farmed for ingredients. So I whipped up a ghuol egg quiche, and my bartender blew up.
Eating carob chunk cookies, that ghuol egg quiche, a papaya taco, and white chocolate chip cookies, I farmed the airship.

Ah, what the heck, one more try today. I ate some cranberries, bought some more Doc Galactik's Homeopathic Elixirs, four stinkbombs and went in.

I defeated the first form. My dodecapede gained a pound. I noodle entangled the second form and started spamming eXtreme Rays of Something. Victory!

I had escaped from the clutches of defeat and 12-day ascension. I took my time to do all the things I needed to do before ascending and jumped in.

Keypunch (#30036)
Pastamancer
The Wombat
Ascended in: 1,462 turns spread out over 11 days
Hardcore, No Path

Day 11: Looking for Ascension!

One of my main frustations of yesterday was not being able to make it a 10-day ascension. But hey, what's cooler than an 11-day ascension? It's ridiculous, it's not even funny!

With 40 spanking new adventures, 2 adventures left from boozing, 4 adventures from my meat maid and another 3 from my clan calendar I think I can make it.

Perhaps I don't even need to eat and drink stuff tomorrow.

My first order of business is to switch into a moxious outift and take my flaming gravy fairy to the Castle. If the wheel comes up, I should turn it clockwise, and I can stop adventuring there, the minute I get a wolf mask, I'm done.

Next up are the yeti, till I have 11k meat, for the Leash of Linguini spell. I could also use clovers in the Treasury, though, although those are worth more on the open market. It would be 7k in 7advs, without extra stats. I defeat the first familiar (Mosquito, so I need Sour Puss, the sabre-toothed lime), train my next familiar at the arena and defeat the second familiar.

After that I have two ways of approaching the NS. I could get some extra meat and buy two more Kickback Cookbooks, for the spell approach. Or I can equip two flaming talons and alternate hitting her with spells with hitting her with the wand. Actually, I'm going to use the second approach, first. If it doesn't work, I can come back with cookbooks.

After she's defeated: Herb Brownie and White Canadian time. Untinker the meatcar and make sure I have the ingredients for a few green beers. My next incarnation can basically be anything, but I should make sure that it can drink!

[edit] Oh yeah, and a tiny plastic pastamancer for the cupboard.

Day 10: Venting Frustration

Yesterday's frustration continued today. Not lagwise (although there was some lag), but more in the not-enjoying-the-game sense.

I spent too much time senselessly clicking, with too low droprates, and consequently not enough meat, because of the non-dropping low-meat area's, with the flaming gravy fairy equipped. I'm going to opt for the Crimbo Elfling again, next hardcore run. He amsuses me far more than Queen, the flaming gravy fairy.

It took four clovers to give me the knob mushrooms from grabbags to make batwing chow mein. Yummy. Farming for frigid ninja stars took long, as did the lowercase n. In fact, I gave up on the latter (of course I needed an NG in the tower).

Basically, I went through the castle into the Hole. Where I could easily manage with Weapon of the Pastalord. My main gripe was with my liquid meat supplies. MMJ and Ailment Ointments are expensive in these amounts. Especially with non-drop star monsters.

The Lair wasn't much better. Besides all else, Of course I needed 3 hedge maze puzzles (karma to compensate that time I did it with one). And then I needed that NG. With Powers of Observatiogn and Mad Looting Skillz and a 20+ Flaming Gravy Fairy, it took me about 30 turns. Other tower places also required backfarming (baseball).

Of course it wasn't all bad, after all, having to farm for that lowercase N, meant that I had gotten 2 more 31337 scrolls for a total of 9 trinkets, meaning I didn't need to worry about clover.

Once on the top of the tower, I easily went past the challenges, until I got to the familiars. I simply didn't have the 11k to spend on Leash of Linguini. I got the familiar equipment for my Sabre-Toothed Lime (Sour Puss) and used the rest of the turns to bonk Yeti over the head for their meat.

Tomorrow I'll have plenty of turns to defeat the sorceress, although I still need a wolf mask.

To finish the day I settled on a Petite Porter. It felt as though suitcases full of wonderfulness were being carried down my esophagus for me.

Keypunch (#30036)
Level 11
Manicotti Magus
Turns Played (this run): 1,360
Days Played (this run): 10

Day 9: Flowing Down

The day started pretty good, plughing my leaflet and eating rat appendix chow mein. Although the Bonerdagon required two attempts (one of them dodecapede aided) and didn't give me the money I needed for Observatiogn, I at least got the dictionary in one turn, and quickly was able to get a bunch of skills and a cookbook. The eXtreme Gear was begotten in a jiffy and adventuring at the Valley went pretty smooth.

So smooth, that only after half a dozen fights, I remembered I had a dictionary and didn't need to crossbow everybody's ass there. I took a while (aided by Flaming Gravy Fairy) to get the final needed scroll to drop, but I got all of the other wanted stuff. Maybe one more lowercase n would be nice, but we'll see.

Then I had a struggle with the Yeti, got beat up less than a handful of times, but hey, I wasn't concentrating. I could adventure at the Goatlet and Cove during being beat up, so it wasn't all that bad. Even got a bottle of rum, which I mixed with a remaining piece of spice and a ghuol egg, to make eggnog.

After a good number of Yeti, I reached level 10 and could climb up the Beanstalk (needed to farm a bean, first). The Airship went allright, the only one that posed a problem was (as expected) the Mech. I had played about 150 turns and things were looking good. The Castle had some myst requirement, so I hung out a bit more in the Airship for a photoneutron torpedo.

I had been enjoying myself, made good progress and had drunkeness to spare.

So, I logged off, and later in the day, logged in again.

LAGGY SHIT.

Really. All lagged out is no way to go through the Kingdom. Especially not with the drawn out fights vs. the giants. I had to equip the Earring for a while, to ensure I had enough mysticality. So, I got more damage, so I needed more healing, which all cost clicks.

In the turns that I did get in, before annoyance crossed the threshold, I did get a Goth Kid Shirt (thank you Warm Subject Gift Certificate), turned the Wheel to Myst, finished the Garbage Quest and gathered a lot of required shit (such as Original G and Heavy D).

But grah, lag. I made this forum post about the matter.

After getting lag beaten up again, I decided it was not worth it. I used a soft-green echo antidote to lift the beaten upness and decided to drink an end to the day. It's moxie day tomorrow too, after all. I realized that I didn't really need the stats from Tequila to make it worth it, so I switched to IPA, which are about 37% of the cost of a Tequila-with-Training-Wheels.

Keypunch (#30036)
Level 10
Ravioli Sorcerer
Turns Played (this run): 1,159
Days Played (this run): 9

Day 9: The Great Day

Well-prepared, that's what I am.

Tomorrow will be the day of the great stat boosters. Leaflet code, 1337 h4xx0r and bonerdagon chest. I'll have nearly 200 adventures to start with, supplemented by +- 75 adventures from chow mein eating. And about another 30 or so, at least, from drinking. So that's 300 adventures to make a leap to the End of this game.

Chronologically:
1) Leaflet code
2) Eat rat appendix chow meins
3) Wipe clean the Cyrpt. Use the chest and equip the badass belt. (use meat to buy Powers of Observatiogn)
4) Get the Dictionary
5) Attain xTreme Cold Weather Gear to fulfill tr4pz0r quest. (Use meat for Pickpocketigng)
6) Valley of Rofl'Mao: summon 1337 h4xx0r, use the scripts
7) Valley of Rofl'Mao: Transport to the Castle Gates
8) Hurt Yeti, till level 10 presents itself.
9) Up the beanstalk into the Airship
10) Through the Airship onto the castle
11) It's ridiculous, not even funny. Look back a bit to backfarm/boozefarm/foodfarm.

That's about as far as I'm willing to look ahead. I might not get that far, I might get further, but right now I can't assess the situation I'll be in. Going through nearly the entirety of level 9 and far into level 10 seems a bit of an optimistic view, as it is.

I'll not unlikely gain a fair amount of meat, so here's the wishlist:
Powers of Observatiogn (5000)
Gnefarious Pickpocketign (5000)
eXtreme Ray of Something (4000)
Kickback Cookbook (4000)
Springy Fusilli (6000)
Torso Awaregness (5000)
Spirit of Ravioli (9000)
Cone of Whatever (8000) / Weapon of the Pastalord (10000)
2nd Kickback Cookbook (4000)
Leash of Linguini (11000)
4rd Kickback Cookbook (4000)

Day 8: Kicked Back, Cooked and Read a Book!

Except that the book was a leaflet.

I used most my meat in today's endeavour. A hell of a lot of it went into hermit permits, but it was well-spent, I think. Better spent than getting the hermit script first. And from the fact that I spent hermit permits, you can deduce that it was, indeed, clover day. Five delicious spicy noodle dishes gave me level 9. I succesfully adventured for spooky mushrooms and have prepared 3 rat appendix chow meins.

Combined with seven servings of IPA (and a single shot of orange schnapps), I have banked a whopping 147 adventures. Moxie Day will be great.

Keypunch (#30036)
Level 9
Linguini Thaumaturge
Turns Played (this run): 906
Days Played (this run): 8

Day 8: Kicking Back and Cooking

I hope it's going to be clover day.

Otherwise, I'll probably have to settle for 5 bowls of delicious noodles (dry noodles with herbs), instead of delicious spicy noodles. Drink of the day, with few doubts, is IPA, or the special. I might have to repair my chef-in-the-box.

I should spice-farm and eat first and adventure after that. I want to save, preferably, 150 adventures.

After all the eating, I should farm for spooky mushrooms. Yes. Spooky mushrooms. These are an important ingredient for 3 rat appendix chow meins I hope to make for Moxie Day. If it's clover day, I can also get the spices from the sewer.

If I still have adventures left, I'll just make a bit more headway in the Cyrpt. In the possible event that I reach level 9, I'll get the Frobozz house from the leaflet, but should not fill in the secret code. That's for day 9.

Note: 54 adventures saved from day 7.

Day 7: Delicious & Spicy Adventuring

Today was a marked departure from the *suck* of yesterday. In fact, Jick even announced that today the Mine had been changed. Not that the mechanic helped me, even if I did get linoleum ore on my first try.

With 5 delicious and spicy noodles in my tummy, the goats were a bit overpowered. I didn't get beat up, but I needed to spend a lot on healing and regaining MP. I decided to check out the pirates instead. That went a lot more supple. I got my moxie up so that I could wear the chrome helmet turtle, and I hung around until I had the complete outfit. I spiced up two bottles of rum for extra moxiousness.

The goats had become troublefree. Their whiskey was mixed with soda water and their meat was used for entangling noodles. In fact, I even got the six pieces of goat cheese in a good time. With a handful of (spendable) adventures left, I headed over to seaside town, got Entangling Noodles and engaged in a, what I thought to be, suicidal mission: See if I could tackle the Bonerdagon.

What I had kind of forgotten, was his Cyrpt full of minions. It started to dawn on me, I hadn't eliminated them yet, because they beat me up the last time I went there. With a few furious crosbbow shots, the Giant Skelelton went down. I took a swipe at a few ghuols, which dropped a ghuol egg. Dammit! I could've made eggnog with that!

Deciding I would save up the rest of my adventures, I jumped into my meat car and drove to the Microbrewery. A vodka martini sealed the day.

Keypunch (#30036)
Level 8
Vermicelli Enchanter
Turns Played (this run): 866
Days Played (this run): 7